Thursday, December 1, 2011

Crime Doesn't Pay But It's Entertaining

This stealing stuff is hella entertaining and an easy way to get a blog entry in. Brilliant!

1. Do you believe in Heaven?
I sure do and I plan on being there with my loved ones.

2. Have you ever come close to dying?
Not to be faux deep and morbid, but I'm pretty sure we're close to death all day long.

3. What jewelery do you wear 24/7?
None.

4. Would you ever consider having plastic surgery?
There's something I'm gonna get done, but I wouldn't consider it plastic surgery.

5. What do you wear to bed?
T-shirt and b-ball shorts (or pajama bottoms)

6. Have you ever done anything illegal?
*looks around* Streets is watching.

7. Who was the last person that you touched?
Physically - My Mills Mo
Emotionally - The whole world, I have that effect on people.

8. Where did you eat last?
Panda Express

9. Besides your own blog, are there any that you routinely read but never comment on?
Several, I need to get better with that.

10. Ever been involved with the police?
Yep, I harassed them for months about the break-in at my apartment.

11. Do you talk in your sleep?
Not that I know of.

12. Now a celebrity fantasy. Who would you take on a ménage à trois for a dirty weekend?
My girlfriend and Beyonce.

13. Do you feel that you’ve had a truly successful life?
Modestly successful thus far, but the best is yet to come.

14. Where do you wish you were?
On a beach in Martinique with my girlfriend.

15. Have you ever ridden in an ambulance?
Nope. Thank goodness.

16. Is there any type of dancing that you love to do?
In the club hitting the same old 2 step.

17. Last gift you received?
I can't remember. Probably something for my birthday.

18. Last sport you played?
Football...on the PS3.

19. Last place you went on holiday?
The Natty state for Thanksgiving.

20. Current Song?
Little Dragon - Forever

Peace.

Monday, November 28, 2011

A Day Late With My Thievery

I saw a lot of bloggers doing this Sunday Stealing post and I thought it was hella cool. An entry is an entry right? Here goes:

1. Have you ever licked the back of a CD to try to get it to work?
I did it last night driving back to Houston. It works.

2. What’s the largest age difference between yourself and someone you’ve dated?
5 years younger

3. Ever been in a car wreck?
No, thank God.

4. Were you popular in high school?
People knew me and I knew people.

5. Have you ever been on a blind date?
Yes, on a dare. Never again.

6. Are looks important?
I have to be attracted to you on some level.

7. Do you have any friends that you’ve known for 10 years or more?
Yep and I love them dearly.

8. By what age would you like to be married?
By my 32nd birthday

9. Does the number of people a person’s slept with affect your view of them?
I'm not here to judge.

10. Have you ever made a mistake?
Is this a trick question? Of course not.

11. Are you a good tipper?
Heck yeah, if I get great service, I'll make it worth their while.

12. What’s the most you have spent for a haircut?
I have yet to need a haircut.

13. Have you ever had a crush on a teacher?
Does an after school site coordinator count? If so, yes. *beams*

14. Have you ever peed in public?
Can't say that I have.

15. What song do you want played at your funeral?
Frank Sinatra - I Did It My Way

16. Would you tell your parents if you were gay?
I wish I had properly told my mother. I can understand why some people don't. Coming out is no joke.

17. What would your last meal be before getting executed?
As many traditional Spicy Garlic wings from BWW as I could handle, fries from Wings and More, a bag of cheddar rice snacks, 5 Caramelo candy bars, 3 bottles of Fiji water, and of course some Sprite Zero to wash it down with.

18. Beatles or Stones?
The Stones all day!

19. If you had to pick one person on earth to die, who would it be?
Anyone who isn't living their lives to the fullest is already dead to me.

20. Beer, wine or hard liquor?
If I only get one choice: beer and lots of it.

21. Do you have any phobias?
I won't call them phobias but I dislike parking garages and flights over 2 hrs.

22. What are your plans for the future?
Get my business up and flourishing, pay off my student loans, marry this wonderful woman, have a family, do a track with Mark Morrison and Mokenstef, find Carmen Sandiego, travel the world, enjoy life to the fullest.

Peace.

Friday, November 18, 2011

Freestyle Friday: Gobble Black Pigskin Edition

You know the drill: I ramble, you read, everybody wins.

* Austin, TX blows majorly...it reminds me of The Hill, if The Hill sucked. If I ever left the Houston area, I'd probably leave Texas. Dallas womps and LOL San Antonio is just wack.

* General Motors can kiss my whole butthole. Thanks to those geniuses, I'm looking at $350 to replace my factory radio. I guess I shouldn't complain too much, I'd rather my car run well than have a super fancy stereo.

* I have been so unproductive lately. I've been too far in my head these last couple weeks. Gotta find a way up outta there.

* My fingernails are ridiculously long at the moment. They really do look like claws. I should be disappoint. I'll get a manicure on Monday.

* It has been a great year for Razorback football. They just need to remain focused and beat Mississippi State tomorrow, then the big showdown for The Boot on Black Friday. If the Hogs win out, could be talking national title. Thank you based Petrino!

* I'm taking my talents to Arkansas next week. Two trips in less than 3 months...I'm getting much better at this. I really should have bought a plane ticket, but I don't mind driving. It's relaxing.

* If my sister doesn't do a Thanksgiving dinner, I guess I'll put together something for the kiddies. Even though I'm not a holiday person, I think it's important for them to have some kind of traditions. Ya'll didn't think I could cook eh?

* I don't know where this will lead, but I'm really enjoying the journey so far. Nice pace that flows quite smoothly. Yeah, I'm talking about YOU *waves*

If I don't manage to get a blog out before next Thursday, I wish everybody a blessed and Happy Thanksgiving. Peace.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

The WTF Chronicles: I Ain't Saying I'm A Golddigger...

Allow me to start this blog off by apologizing to all the straight women of the world. I did not understand the troubles you ladies go through with cheap dudes. Let me regale you with the story that caused me to open my eyes.

Yesterday evening after a pretty cool day of snapping photos and hanging out, this kat calls my homie and invites her out for dinner. She informs him that she isn't alone, so he's like that's cool the more the merrier. We get to the restaurant (Thai food, keep that in mind) and meet duke there. Seems like your typical dinner.

Time to order. Since my homie and wanted the same dish, we decided to split and order an appetizer to go with it. Duke orders baby rolls (small spring rolls) and some tea. Immediately makes a lame joke about the rolls not having any babies in it. By now I've already labeled him as a Grade A cornball. He makes some small talk with me and with my campaign to be less douchey I entertain him. In the back of my mind I'm thinking "Lawd where is the food...anything to shut this guy up".

Since prayers of a righteous woman avails much, our food finally comes. He gets his baby rolls and proceeds to make the same joke about the rolls not having any babies in them. I do everything in my power not to give the most epic of sideeyes. One: jokes about pedophillic cannibalism don't do it for me and b. you already said that, ninja.

After devouring his baby rolls, he asks for some of the appetizer my homie and I ordered. I was already stuffed, so I'm like knock yourself out, playa. And boy did he ever! For someone who swore up and down they weren't hungry, he sure went in. I haven't seen chicken disappear faster since that Pay Day special fiasco Popeyes had a couple years ago.

The waiter comes by and clears the table...next up the check. I catch a glance at the bill, a mere $28 which is hella cheap for 3 people. Duke picks up the check, before I can open my mouth to thank him, this enwurd says us "I had the baby rolls and the tea". Duke shoots us a look that says "you brawds on your own". We ask the waiter to separate our stuff from his. He gets his check and throws down exactly $10 (which wasn't a solid, instead like a bunch of ones). So not only did this enwurd not pay for my homie, he ain't even leave a tip.

Never in my life have I been out with my homie and a dude who liked her and had to pay for a meal or drink. I've never met up with a chick I liked and her homegirl and didn't pay for at least their meal. I know nothing dries the puthy up faster than being cheap. Plus, you get in good with the chick's homegirl and you're pretty much golden.

Was I expecting dude to buy my food? Not at all. Should he at least paid for my homies food? Heck to the yeah. If you that broke/cheap, only women you're gonna be getting it on with are Hangela and Palmetta. Boy stop! Peace.

Monday, October 31, 2011

Did I Miss the "Monolithic Thought" Convention?

As a rule, I try not to get too political on my blog. Not because I don't have any opinions, it's just easier to keep views to myself. After a quasi-heated debate on a message board, I decided to take my frustrations to the blog. A guy said Herman Cain was a sellout because he's a Republican.

I am sick and tired of every black person (myself included) who decided not a be a Democrat by default being labeled as a sellout, Uncle Tom, coon, etc. Was there an official statement issued that said all black people must be Democrats? If choosing the candidate that best aligns with my beliefs REGARDLESS of political affiliation instead of being a Yellow Dog Democrat makes me a sellout...[VOICE=Redman]I'll bee dat![/VOICE]

It always baffled me why my mother wasn't a Republican. She was against abortion, wasn't too fond of teh gheys ('cept for me :-D), and wasn't a fan of any abled bodied person who didn't work. Her mother told her to be a Democrat and she went with it. She tried to pass that on to me, but I wanted no parts of it.

I used to hate seeing the local Democrat candidate at the church trying to get votes. Swaying back and forth when they choir sang, jumping up and down during the sermon. I always wondered why did they do it, these sheep wouldn't dare vote Republican. You may as well go play golf or something because you got them in the bag.

Back when I was 18, I chose by my own volition to register as a Republican. I liked their message of small government, capitalism, and pulling yourself up by your bootstrap. Plus I knew the history of the Democratic party. It stunned my parents and siblings. Growing up you were taught that Republicans are all old fat white men who were racist as the days are long. Republicans hated black people and they REALLY hated poor black people. Not once was I told that quite a few of our black heroes were Republicans.

Over the years, I caught a lot of flak for being a Republican. "Do you know how racist that party is?" Oh I'm sorry I forgot the pillar for civil rights, Bull Connor was a card carrying Republican. Wait...he's not. My bad. Oh well surely the man who filibustered to keep the Civil Rights Act of 1957, Strom Thurmond, from being passed was a Republican. Wait...he isn't either? I know you will argue that he did switch parties but only because he found a kindred spirit or butt buddy (your call) Barry Goldwater who opposed the 1964 bill.

"How can you be gay and be a Republican?" I calmly pointed out that I don't see Democrats breaking down the door singing Kumbaya at PFLAG meetings. Democrats aren't really that much interested in legalizing gay marriage. I don't have the numbers on hand; I'm sure there are a fair amount of gay supporting Republicans as well anti-gay Democrats. To me, it's a wash.

I said all that to say this: being a black Republican does not make you a sellout. You are no "blacker" if you vote Democratic. Instead of finding more ways of being divisive, let us work towards making a better country. Watch for the hook. Stop blindly giving candidates your vote because of the (D) behind his or her name. I implore you no matter what your political affiliation to support candidates that best represent your views and ideals. Peace.

What set you claim edit: While I still lean towards the right, I identify as an Independent.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

We Don't Punch Girls and We Don't Punch a Clock

So you wanna run your own company? Not having to punch a clock, not having to punch a co-worker sounds hella appealing eh? Working in your pjs or having a nice office downtown has to be teh ossums no? Running your own business is one of the hardest, yet rewarding things ever in life. It's freedom, but just as with all freedom, it comes at a hefty price.

I decided to blog some tips and things I've learned over the last few months. Perhaps you're thinking about taking the plunge.

1. Stay encouraged. I can count the number of things that have gone smoothly without a single hitch on a single finger. If things go wrong, don't go wrong with them. You have to stay the course and hang in there.

2. Tune out the world. The people you think will be rooting for you will be the first to call you crazy. You have to be able to hit that mute button. Listen to God, forget the world.

3. There is never a right time. If you're waiting for the perfect moment to start your business, you'll die first. If you have that itch, go for it.

4. Take a break. Entrepreneurs are famous for having to work 24/7. You have to live, breathe, eat, and sleep your company; however, you still have to take time for yourself. It's okay to "get a blow" and "take a knee". Go out to lunch, have a beer, take a trip, relax sometimes.

5. Network. Don't underestimate the power of networking. Even if the person has nothing to do with your industry, still talk to them. Never know who they know.

6. Passion is sometimes the difference between success and failure. Your passion will propel you when all else fails. Passion is sometimes what keeps you holding that rope.

7. Keep a company notebook. Write down progress reports, confessions, dreams, ideas. Anything that moves you, write it down.

8. Read....READ....READ!!! Any books/articles/tweets you can find about your industry or major players in the industry, read them.

9. Don't be afraid to reach out to players in your industry. I've gotten a lot of solid advice from cold calling/emailing/tweeting VCs. You'd be surprised how many people are willing to help you.

Long story short, it takes a lot to make your company dreams reality, but it's so worth it.

Friday, October 14, 2011

Simpin' Ain't Easy But I Reckon Somebody Has to Do It

Lay down.
And tell me what's on your mind.
What exactly did he do? To make you cry this time?
Well, I will be your comforter. I will make it right.

I give good love

I'll buy your clothes
I'll cook your dinner too
Soon as I get home from work
I'll pay your rent

Girl I can’t help but wait
Til’ you get that with him, it don’t change
Can’t help but wait
Til’ you see that wit me it ain’t the same
Can’t help but wait
Til’ you, see you, for what you really are
Baby girl you are a star
And I can’t help but wait

What does these lyrics have in common? They are all forms of simpery. I'm all about full disclosure: I have simped. For those of you that aren't too hip, I'll give you the Laconicized definition. Basically simpin' is putting the poohsay on a pedestal. It's excessive gifts and attention to garner affection. It's doing the most and getting the least.

A simp thinks if they just wait, the chick will come around. A simp thinks if they listen to her whine about how her girlfriend just headbutted her, surely she'll recognize how caring they are. A simp thinks that letting a chick call at 3:17 am to cry about how her dude hasn't come yet, surely she'll see that things would be different if they were together. A simp thinks just because a chick cried on his good Polo shirt, surely she would see that this is where she needs to be. A simp is always telling the chick how she can do better. A lot of chicks don't want better. If there's no "excitement", it ain't fore them.

A simp usually has mistimed their jump. Meaning, they met a chick they liked but they didn't present themselves as dating material in that initial second to third date. Most chicks you can't be their lover if you're their friend. My suggestion is even on the first date is to hit her with a little sexual innuendo without being pervy. This lets a chick know up front that you ain't interested in going to the mall with her to buy a gift for the person she's banging.

A simp thinks a way to a woman's heart is through their wallet. If the chick you're after is a golddigger or an escort, then hey you're golden. However, most chicks aren't (or won't admit) to being either, so this is a no-no. Personally, I take the Mystikal approach "you think I'm trickin', I ain't trippin', I'm buying if you got nice curves for your Iceberg (shoutout to about 11 years ago)". Chicks are like slot machines, you got a better chance of hittin' if you put some money in it. If you're pulling mid 6-figures and up, it's nothing to buy a chick a pair of Louboutins.

You may ask well where does the simp go wrong when it comes to spending. Simps overdo it. A simp is taking a chick they just met to Vic and Anthony's for a first date. A simp is buying a $100 bouquet of calla lilies after the first date. A simp is paying cell phone bills by month 2. A simp is paying a chick's mama's light bill just so that she'll spend some time with them. A simp will max out their credit card to buy a chick a plane ticket to Vegas (where they don't live). If you're pulling low 5-figures and less, it's a lot to buy a chick 4 Fruitytinis.

To all you simps out there, a piece of advice. There's nothing wrong with being nice. If you're a nice person, keep being nice. Just don't use your niceness as a gimmick. Honestly, the quickest way to get a chick's attention is to stop giving her attention. Ignore her for a few days and watch how quickly she comes back around. And when she does, throw her the deuce. You don't want a chick like that. You deserve a chick who wants to be with you without any games. Peace.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Inside the Dater's Studio

I've gotten several great topics for my Dating and Relating week. Since I don't want to drag this out past a week, today's entry will be a Q&A. This way I can touch on a lot of subjects without doing a lot of extra entries. I'm sure down the road, I'll expound on some of these, but for now....take what I give ya.

1. Do you date outside of your race?
Yes. My ultimate desire is to be with a black woman. However, I have been out with all races of women before. I will honestly say that if I were to end up with a non black woman, she would be white. Why? A lot of things I'm into (golf, boats, fiscal conservatism, and imported beers), I find a good clip of white women are into. * Disclaimer: NOT saying that women of color are not into these things.

2. Have you ever cheated?
Nope. Before you think I'm getting all holier than thou, I'll explain. I've never had an official girlfriend. I don't believe you can cheat if you're not in a relationship. Any time I dated more than one chick at a time, they knew about each other.

3. What is the most difficult thing about dating women?
Hmm. It's a tie between insecurity and not knowing what they want. I'll give the nod to not knowing what they want. It's hella frustrating for a woman to say she wants one thing, you give it to her, only for her to run away with like her hair is on fire. I think this lack of knowing what they want causes women to rack up a bunch of girlfriends and/or end up dead end relationships.

4. Are you picky?
Extremely. I know what I want in a mate and relationship. I have a list that is organized by needs, like-to-haves, wants, and bonus. I have high standards for myself, so it's quite natural, my woman would have high standards.

5. Are you romantic?
#duhandhello! I'm a Pisces. *turns down lights* *plays the piano* Look us up, b.

6. If you asked the last three women you've dated what is the one thing they disliked about you the most, what would they say?
I can be way too guarded. I don't offer up information. If you wanna know, ask. I don't want to add you to my FB and "what Twitter?".

7. What is something you're working on changing to be a better dater?
I'm learning how to see things from the other person's point of view. I don't think it's a problem to not add someone you're with to your FB/Twitter (provided ya'll didn't meet on there). It's not an issue to me to keep your phone on silent or vibrate. However, that stuff looks bad. As I learn to be less guarded, I'm sure I'll find it easier to put myself in the other person's shoes.

If you have any other questions, feel free to ask them. Peace.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

The Angel I Knew Not the Devil I Know

A loyal reader asked me yesterday about the one woman who ever caught my heart. Their question was “what did she have that no other woman you’ve been out didn’t?” First off, excellent question . I usually try not to get too deep but since this question falls in line with Relationshits week, I will answer it.

C is the only woman that I’ve loved. Truth be told, I loved her from the first time I met her. It was something about her that immediately clicked the day I shook her hand. I felt a connection to her. That connection was put on hold for a couple years, but when I saw her again, I felt the same way I felt freshman year. It wasn’t until I got older that I realized that I loved her from jump.

I think what I loved most about C is that she “got” me. She knew when I was being funny and when I was being serious. She knew when to actually listen to me and when to just tune me out. When she listened, she actually listened. I could always tell by how her eyebrows would wrinkle up. She understood that I let people in slowly. She never pushed me and I appreciated that.

Whether I was having the best day ever or the worst day in history, she was my first phone call/visit. Just hearing her say it would be okay would put my mind at ease. Looking into her eyes just made me feel like all was well with the world. The way she would stroke my hair. Her embrace. She just knew how to make everything okay.

She actually could make me laugh. For the longest, I thought she had no sense of humor. Then one day out the blue she started cracking funny jokes. What I liked about her jokes is that they weren’t obvious. Her jokes were stealth and cerebral. She laughed at my jokes. Not that dry canned laughter, but she would be almost in tears laughing. I loved her laugh. She wasn’t afraid to get silly with me. Water fights, wedgies, burping contests, the whole nine.

She took no mess off me. She challenged me. A lot of women let me get away with anything. Not C. If I was out of line, she’d call me on it. I appreciate the fact she made me want to be a better woman. At the time, I really didn’t know much about love. Up until then, I knew stick and move. She showed me a lot about love.

Granted that she’s now out of my life but she was important part of my life. I made a lot of mistakes and so did she. I just hope she learned as much from me as I learned from her. Peace.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

360s at Teh Ex-Games

If a chick says to me “LI, I want to break up”, I ask one question “are you sure”. If she says yes, then that’s it. Done son. If I have any of her stuff, I’ll return it promptly. If she wants to be a douche about my stuff that’s cool. I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t leave anything that I couldn’t live without over anyone’s house. That’s all folks.Don’t call me two days later saying you made a mistake. Yeah, you did, but mistakes are learning opportunities. You’ll know next time. Nope, I don’t want to reconcile….evar.

I don’t play the break up to make up game. The Gap Band said “you can’t keep runnin’ in and out of my life”. LaconicIcon says “you WON’T keep runnin’ in and out of my life”. I’ve never been good at hopscotch and double dutch. You hop out, you stay out. I hear you knocking but you can’t come in, toots.

I don’t get in relationships all willy nilly. If I’m in a relationship with a chick, I have really strong and deep feelings for her. A lot of chicks can say they caught LI’s attention, but only 1 can say she caught her heart. If we break up, the last thing I wanna do is be BFFs 3 weeks later. Girl sit all the way down. I’m not remotely interested in being your friend afterwards. I delete numbers, texts, emails, Facebook, and Twitter. You want out of my life, you’re out of my life.

This is another reason why I’m a terrible lesbian. I’ve noticed that lezzies and lesbians alike love their exes. They’re still pals. They get back together. They break back up. They sacrifice new relationships for the sake of trying to be compadres with their exes. Be friends with who you wanna be friends with, but don’t expect everyone to clap to that.

As a rule, I don’t date women who haven’t been single for at least 313 days. I’ve gone on countless dates and chicks tell me they just broke up with their ex 19 hours ago. Why are you even here? Maybe I’m being close minded and not giving them the benefit of the doubt. However, I’m not gonna be out kickin’ it and kee-keeing with you then 4 weeks later you’re telling me that ya’ll decided to give it another go for the 17th time. No thank you.

This may sound harsh or maybe even bitter. The X-Games are dope, the Ex-Games are for dopes. Peace.

Monday, October 10, 2011

The WTF Chronicles Vol. 1738: But We're Not Even Together

Now I see why I rarely go on dates. The dating scene is just way too stressful and the rewards rarely match up with the risk. I may joke about finding a trophy wife but I'm about the point where I'm serious.

A little over a month ago, I exchanged numbers with this chick. I realized that her convo really wasn't doing it for me so I stopped talking. A couple weeks after that, I send a text just being polite and whatnot. She hits me back with "??". I figure she had deleted my number and kept it moving. About a week ago she hits me up talmbout "you must have a girlfriend". Really chick? Anywho, I explained my singleness and how I fell back because she tried to play me to the left. We start texting here and there.

Now this is why I really don't like texting a lot. I don't have a texting personality. Meaning I can come off really dry and jerkish over a text. I try to be concise and get everything I need to say in as few characters as I can. One night she was telling me how much she likes reality shows. My response "that's cool but I'm not a big fan of reality shows". Now I feel like that's an appropriate reply. It was late but I was trying to be a champ so I ask her about her weekend plans. She tells me she was thinking about going to ATL to visit her bro who happens to be a cameraman for a pretty major show. My response "oh that's dope, welp I'm hella sleepy so I'll talk to you later". Again, decent reply. Keep those texts in mind, they will be needed later.

Fast forward to last Thursday, I invite her out for drinks. I like to go out pretty quickly because I'm all about saving time. No need for us to talk and talk and talk then meet up and it's nothing. We're at the table enjoying drinks, talking and whatnot. In my mind, things are going swell.

She busts out "I'm glad I met up with you in person because I figured you were a jerk from your text messages". Me (in my mind): Immediately I regret this decision. Me (out loud): Oh word? Well I'm glad you decided to see for yourself. Now I'm trying to dead this convo because I know it's headed down a slippery slope. She goes on "yeah I was all set to walk out if you had something flip to me" Me (to myself): Say brawd, you better enjoy this free drink and shaddup! Me (out loud): *chuckle* It's cool, we're good. Let's just enjoy the drink and be cool.We talk for a little while longer. She invites me out to dinner the next night. I'm like that's fine. Small talk at her car. Hug. Go home.

Over the next few days, I would always be the one trying to initiate a conversation. Trying to ask questions. Trying to keep a conversation going. It was like talking to a brick wall. Now here I am going above and beyond what I usually do just to show that I am a pretty nice person once you get to know me. It was sorta like when a comic is bombing on stage. They go for anything to try to get the crowd into it. Jokes, sarcasm, whatever.

So today, I hit her up via text asking how her day went. She straight up spazzed back. She talmbout "I was gonna call you back but I realized that all we could talk about is how opposite we are. You think you're superior to me. Good luck in finding someone on your level". My first reaction was to go the frick in. Like no lube in. Then I had a flashback. Such foolery reminded me of many arguments with C. So I stopped myself and calmly responded "differences aren't a bad thing, I respect your views, do what you gotta do". If she's anything like C, she's stewing because I didn't throw myself at her mercy and beg for another opportunity.

I thought further "this brawd just dumped me but we ain't even together". That's crazier than a soup sandwich. Then I thought how frickin' cowardly is that? You can't attempt to tell me who I am without not even giving me the opportunity to defend myself. I'm a firm believer in giving folk the crust up front. I know my flaws and I think it's best you know them 2 weeks in than 2 years in. However, even with my flaws and eccentric nature, I'm quite certain I will make someone a very awesome girlfriend. Just won't be that nutcase. Peace.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

I Hope That's Weather Treated Wood

One of the big stories today is about some actress being booted off a SW Airlines flight for kissing her girlfriend. Since I don’t have any visual evidence or eyewitness accounts, I can’t say for certain that this was not the case. However, logic and gut tells me that there’s more to this story that a simple smooch getting two women kicked off a plane.

Recently, teh gheys have been wound up a little tight about certain things. You may be scratching your head saying “b-b-b-but aren’t you a lesbian?” Indeed I am. However, I’m the first to admit that teh gheys get riled up early and often. Does discrimination against gay people exist? It surely does. Is every time something unfavorable happens to a gay person an instance of said discrimination? Nope.

I decided to blog a short list of things that seem to get the collective panties of the gheys in a bunch:

Gay Marriage – Don’t get me wrong. I do want to get officially and legally married someday. In the meantime in between time, I know all the proper legal procedures to take to ensure that my partner and I can take care of each other’s affairs provided one of us dies or becomes incapacitated. There won’t be any 5th cousin thrice removed swooping in to take my empire away from my wife. I think marriage should be available to all, but there are more pressing issues that need to be taken care of at the moment. I.E. job creation, better schools, fairer taxation, the environment, etc.

Perceived discrimination – Have I ever been discriminated against because I’m gay? Probably so. I mean it’s not too hard to pick me out of a lesbian line-up. I fit the “description”. Take the SW Airlines issue. If those chicks were pretty much giving other passengers a free show, then yeah, someone should tell them to tone it down. I think excessive PDA is unnecessary regardless of the orientation of the couple. I’m just trying to get my 100 calorie snack pack and ginger ale and get to my destination. Not trying to see tonsillectomy be performed outside an operating room.

Coming out – I’m out as the days are long. I tried to come out to family and friends but all I got was “umm we’ve been knowing you were gay”. I wanted the dramatic scene with crying and whatnot, but to no avail. Coming out is a hella personal journey that no one can force you to take. You have to do it if/when you’re ready. Some of us have a lot more to lose by coming out than others. I don’t think a person is any less gay if they never come out to family and friends. I don’t condone a person being a closet case homophobe. You have to be out to YOURSELF. You’re not gonna be hiding me under a bed every time you moms comes over or telling me I can’t look you in the eye when we’re out to dinner.

Basically gay people, I’m gonna need you to lighten up. It’s tough enough being gay without nailing yourself to a cross every chance you get. Peace.

Friday, September 23, 2011

Freestyle Friday: Farewell Summer Edition

Ya'll know the routine: I ramble, you read. Everybody wins!

* I finally got baptized this week. I managed to make it 29 years without ever doing so (no braggo). I got a little sad because I wish my mommy could have been there.

* Yeah, tis the first day of a fall. However, in Houston that really doesn't make a difference. I do enjoy fall though especially the Polo collection.

* I was glad to see folk come together about Troy Davis. I didn't like all the "aboveitall" type smarty art ninjas who felt the need to belittle everyone who showed concern. Just because a person isn't on the twitter picket line everyday doesn't mean they're unaware. And even if you were unaware before, the fact that you chose to be aware says a lot.

* I'm a little nervous about the decision I made to become my little sister's legal guardian. The good news is she's a teenager, so I don't have to worry about daycare and the like. The bad news is that she's a teenager, so I do have to worry about boys, drugs, and the like. I'm confident I can do this, I have to do this.

* I believe I finally have the correct second in command. This chick is a hard worker and you can tell she's hungry. She almost makes me feel as if I'm not working hard enough. Still praying and believing that we get this up and running...quickly.

* No low self-esteemo but I'm amazed sometimes at the confidence certain people have in me. Listening to them talk about me to others, I would think I'm the next Peter Lynch or Warren Buffett. I'll claim that.

* I'm a bit uneasy about being intrigued. I'll leave it at that for now.

Happy first day of fall. Peace.

Monday, September 12, 2011

The Parker Brothers Weren't Bout That Life

I know the game. I've played the game. I've been played by the game. I've successfully gamed the game a few times in life. I've schooled people to the game. I've been schooled by the game.

The game stays gaming. The game is zero sum...for every winner someone must lose. Even still, for every one person who walks away from the game, there's 10 more running to the table. The game doesn't care about your feelings. The game doesn't care about your past, not concerned about your present. All the game requires is your presence. As long as you engage, the game pretends to be your friend.

The game doesn't amaze me. Nor does it fascinate or captivate me. Not much I haven't seen from the game because there's nothing new under the sun. The game has tried to reinvent itself. However, if you really know the game, you can see behind the mask.

Like I said, I've been hipped to game. I know some Rhodes Scholars of the game. That was in my younger days. Am I tight that I got gamed? Not at all. Experience is the best teacher. I studied the game, not to avoid it, but to game someone else. Pay it forward right?

The game and I had some good times. I taught the game how to disguise itself. When I met the game, it was rough and unpolished. Don't get me wrong, it was very potent, but it didn't know how to talk to people. It didn't know how to put on that smile and get to sit on the white couch in the sitting room (ya'll Southerners know what I'm talking about). I showed the game how to have a business mind. I upgraded the game.

Sounds like you and the game had a nice arrangement. We did. I got older and wiser and decided the game wasn't for me anymore. I dapped the game up and it understood that where I wanted to be, it couldn't go. I was proud of the game for understanding that our arrangement was purely business. I was even prouder of myself that I could walk away from it. Now, I'm supercool, living a life free of the game and all of its trappings.

Don't get it twisted though, I still know the game well. Frill. Peace.

Friday, September 9, 2011

Freestyle Friday Pt. 4781636

Appears that the blogosphere has been pretty active, so I reckon I'll churn out one as well. You know how this works. I say what's on my dome and ya'll leave the money in the hat by the door.

* Insanity workouts are NO JOKE!! This stuff is kicking my arse, but I think I like it. Masochist much? The exercises aren't over difficult, but it's hella intense.

* If this new team member doesn't work out, I'm going dolo. Putting a staff together was supposed to speed things up, not bring them to a grinding halt.

* I'm enjoying living with the fam and I'm hella grateful for a roof over my head. However, I'm not built for this suburb living. I like being around the action and close to my homies. Even when I get married, I still want to live in the city.

* I need some new sneakers. I need some new t-shirts from Karmaloop. I need some new Polos. Okay, I'll just say I need to go shopping.

* I want to dj a gig. It's been a minute since I gigged and I'm getting the itch.

* I'm so stoked about football season. Really hoping the Razorbacks take a big step forward this year. If the Titans don't win the division, they're more hopeless than I thought.

* I'm intrigued. I'll leave it at that for now.

Until next time.....peace!

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

MJ Got Six 'Ships, Surely This Isn't Too Much

This blog is brought to you via the suggestion box. Here goes. Action!

I've been told that I am extremely picky when it comes to the ladies. I agree 100%. Not so much picky about looks, but I hold myself to a high standard and I expect the same from a mate. If you aren't on that level or have no desire to be there, kick rocks and KIM. While I've been able to whittle away things that aren't totally necessary (tall as or taller than me, Knicks fan, knows what happened to Judy of Family Matters), some things will not be compromised. I decided to list only 6 this go round, only non looks related stuff. Note: the standard laundry list is implied (e.g. honest, no criminal record, mentally stable, etc)

1. Belief in God - I can't clap to you being on that atheist kick. I may can roll with Allah or Buddha, but I'd rather you be down with the GOD. On the flip side, I don't do holy rollers either. If you're so heavenly that you're no earthly good, keep moving. I strive each day to be better than before, but still I fall short of the glory.

2. College educated - I tried to whittle that one away, but I can't. It's very important to me. I'm not saying having a degree makes you smarter, but it does show you can commit to a goal. The degree must be from an accredited school. Your PhD from Rootie Poo Tech does nothing for me.

3. Knowledge of self - I can't deal with someone who is all over the place. I want someone who is secure in their values and in themselves. If you don't know who you are from one day to the next, it won't work. You gotta be comfortable in your own skin.

4. Financially smart - Not saying you have to have 6 figures in the bank (yet), but you have to be able to successfully manage what you do have. If your credit score is low, work on it. If your credit score is high, maintain it. If you don't know what it is or don't care, get away. I can't deal with Gucci purses with no money and maxed out credit cards in them. Know about investments or be willing to let me teach you.

5. Well Rounded/Cultured - Don't get me wrong, I still like listening to Project Pat and eating wings at dive bars. However, if you don't know a fish fork from a pitch fork, we have a problem. If you think the symphony is boring, we have a problem. If you pronounce ballet (as ball-let), we have a problem. If the only time you've seen a museum is on tv, we have a problem.

6. Able to show me things - Yeah, I know that I'm a genius, but there are some things I don't know. I'm always willing to learn something new. It can be as simple as a new song or as complex as a nuclear fission techniques. Challenge my limits (not my patience).

These six things are not the definitive list, but it's a good intro. I don't think I'm asking for too much. Peace.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

What's Been Up With Our Fearless Hero?

Over the past few months, my blogging has been anything but consistent. Not to say that nothing has been going on, if anything way too much (in a good way). Anywho, I figured I'll just ramble for a spell and call it an entry.

* I find myself really intrigued by a certain chick's boobies. I think they're pretty awesome. I should ask her can I see them. Save myself some time. Or am just intrigued by the thought of them? *shrug*

* If you're starting your own business and don't have the money for salary right now, hit up Craigslist. I was extremely blessed to find 3 great individuals to come on board on a part/spare time basis until I can get them on salary.

* I think I've finally come to the realization that I am to work on my company full time. Not to say I won't go on interviews when I'm called, but God wouldn't allow me to take a job away from someone who desperately needed and/or wanted it. I'd just be working there for less than 9 months.

* I'm learning to stop cutting my blessings off at the knees. Meaning, I'm learning to ask God for major major things. Go hard or go home.

* Moving back with my fam hasn't been the traumatic experience I thought it would be. Granted I'm the type who prefers living alone, it's been kinda cool to have people around sometimes.

* I haven't been on a date in over 3 months. I haven't been on a dope date in years. Not to say the ones in between have been wack, they just never led to anything. Even with my schedule getting more hectic by the day, I still could fit a cool young lady into my schedule.

* I really hope they kill Tara off on True Blood. Her character gets progressively annoying. Perhaps it's the "woe is a black woman" storylines they give her.

* Whilst it is comparing apples to oranges, Twitter is 100x better than Facebook. I've met so many new and cool folk on there. Tis also a great networking tool. Facebook has just become a lot of whoring for likes and comments.

* A certain chick from my past has really been on my mind. I really liked her a lot but the timing just never was right between us. I'm not a big fan of memory lane visits, so I'll stay in my corner and she'll stay in hers.

I reckon that's enough for now. I hope to be able to blog more often, but we shall see. Peace.


Wednesday, August 3, 2011

True Life: I'll Play Your Game Anytime

I've always gone for uber feminine chicks who may own one pair of sneakers. None of them play sports, heck none of them really like sports. That's just always been my thing. Recently, there has been a shift in what kind of woman I'm attracted to. More and more I catch myself really being into athletic women. They're not overly masculine but they sometimes have that edge about themselves. I find that tres sexy nowadays. Don't get it twisted, I don't want to date a chick who looks and acts like Albert Haynesworth.

Anywho, here is my list of current athletes that I find myself a bit attracted to. I decided to post pics of them in their uniforms, not all glammed up.



1. Cappie Pondexter - Cute, stylish, straight up beast on the court. CP23 is the total package for me. I love watching her interviews and reading her tweets. I haven't hooped in years, but I'd play her (and win) for her heart, her draws, a date, you name it.

2. Hope Solo - Those eyes do it for me. I love watching her work the net, with moves like that....I can only imagine.


3. Candice Dupree - One of the unsung cuties of the WNBA. The few Phoenix games I've caught this year, I've noticed how chill and laid back she seems on the court. I likey.

4. Natasha Kai - I've never been a big fan of chicks with hella tats. I'm willing to make an exception for this one though.5. Leilani Mitchell - She's about the only one out of the bunch that I could tower over (listed at 5'5" which means she's probably 5'3). She could still post me up. I welcome it.

All these chicks I wouldn't mind playing them one on one. So ladies, if you're reading this blog post.....get at me. Peace.