Thursday, April 29, 2010

Look Up in the Sky.....Is It a Bird? Is It a Plane?

There has been countless songs, lyrics, quips, and jokes about Captain Save A Ho. We all know one, heck we may be one. For you less worldly readers out there, lemme school on who CSAH is. There are 3 types of CSAH, they are NOT mutually exclusive.

1. The I'll Pay for Everything CSAH - This is the guy/chick who will pay for getting nails done, hair done, cars washed, cell phone bills, movies, dinner, mama's light bill, Aunt Jackie's casino money, etc. This guy/chick believes that the quickest way to a woman's heart is thru his/her wallet/pocketbook. No expense is spared with this CSAH. They don't care if their own lights are off, as long as the object of their affection is dipped out and draped up in the latest fashion and accessories.

2. The I Can Change Her CSAH - This poor schmuck gets tied up with the neighborhood chickenhead and/or beatpiece. The whole hood knows the brawd is no good, but CSAH loves her anyway. He/she will ignore any evidence of their beloved being anything but a classy lady. You can bring the CSAH video evidence of their girl being skank. They will swear up and down that the tape is fake. They will even comment on how far Hollywood special effects have come. This CSAH wants to be the one to change their girl from her wicked ways. The only person who can save a skank from being a skank is God.

3. The Tresvanty CSAH - In 1990, a young man by the name of Ralph Tresvant released a song called "Sensitivity". The song is about some schmuck who was in love with a chick who was being dogged out by her man. He's telling her how she needs someone who wipe away her tears, kiss away the pain, make balloon animals, so on and so forth. The Tresvanty is the CSAH who thinks that chivalry and nobility is the way to get (keep) the woman. This CSAH will sit up to 4 am listening to a chick whine about her life knowing good and well he/she has to be up for work at 5. This CSAH will cancel their kickin it plans because the chick wants to come over and watch Lifetime Movie Network. This CSAH will let the chick have his/her bed because they don't want the chick to feel uncomfortable. Basically, this CSAH's fatal flaw is they are too available for the chick.

In the spirit of keeping it honest, I am a recovering Tresvanty Captain Save a Ho. I am learning that whilst there is nothing wrong with being a nice woman, too much of anything is bad. I am learning the difference between being there for a chick and being at her beck and call. I realized that a woman cannot respect a puddle at her feet.

To all you CSAHs, it's a problem. You have to find out what's going on with you that makes you act that way. Yeah the chick is foul for taking up all your money, time, and attention. However, it comes a point in time where the blame shifts to you. Own it, find it, and fix it. Peace.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Music On My Mind

For the last few days, I have been bumping this album. It's been a minute since I had an album that I just wanted to listen to all day long. I guess it shows how far music has fallen or how different music has become.

There is one particular song that I really seem to enjoy. Track number 10, "Lovelier than You". When you first hear it, you probably think it's a country western song. Just let the guitar soothe you as he paints a picture of this woman he wants to have one of these days. Even if he doesn't get her, he knows she's top notch and will always be. Peep the hook:

If I could rewind
both the hands of time
still I would never find
a lovelier design
than you, nothing's lovelier than you

It's dope because hip-hop love songs are on the verge of extinction. I mean to some of these folk "lick you like a lollipop" is their idea of a rap love song. I'm glad to see that even in the landfill that we call a music scene, you can still find a treasure amongst all the trash. Good music just puts you in a good mood. *turns headphones up* Peace.

Friday, April 23, 2010

Freestyle Friday: Drinks and Draft Edition

* My homies and I have started a Thursday Pub Night. Last night was our first installment. I had a blast. These ladies are good peoples. Here's to many more.

* I keep hearing from people that I give off a playa-type vibe. I feel that I'm far from a playa. I know I'm pretty smooth and laid back. Maybe that's where that comes from. I have no game, women just understand my story.

* Getting ready to sack up and handle some business. Hoping it turns out in my favor. Win, lose, or draw I have to take charge of this situation.

* I love love British slang. I can't wait to actually be able to call someone a wanker or tosser.

* I really like the security dude. He's an older kat, but he always speaks to me by name and daps me up. It's funny to see him kee-keein' with me then straighten up and get serious when someone else comes by.

* My craving this week is waffles. I went out and bought some Eggos. I see that being dinner at least 2 nights over the weekend. Perhaps even breakfast. Rice is still in the mix, but the waffles are runnin' things this week.

* I don't ever want to rush time, but I'm getting hella stoked about the upcoming college football season. I really think my Razorbacks are ready to make that push to the next level. I don't like all the press they're getting. Want them to fly under the radar so teams won't see the beatdown coming.

* This is the longest my hair has ever been and some days its kinda weird to see. I could grow a little hair back when I was permed/braided. However, it never went down my back. This is new, but it's a good look. I love my locs.

* Gonna go see The Losers this weekend. Idris Elba (super sexy) and Zoe Saldana (super fine) on the same screen? Count me in!

Bonus cut: I did a guest blog for my good homie me work

Locked out edit: It was just brought to my attention that my comments section was jacked. Happy to report, this error has been fixed. Comment away!

Monday, April 19, 2010

Let's Kick This Week Off Right

It's the start of a new work/school week. You may be feeling down. You may be feeling on top of the world. No matter what you're situation is, stand firm. Keep the faith. Know that God loves you and is looking out for you.

Don't bring the baggage from yesterday into today. If the prayer you prayed this morning gets answered this afternoon, thank Him. If it doesn't, thank Him and know that he will answer them according to His will. Pray that the desires for your life coincides with the design He has for you life.

Smile. Not a contrived smile, but an authentic smile. No matter how "bad" things may be, I know there is one thing in your life you can crack a smile about. Here's one of my favorite inspiration tunes. Stay inspired. Peace.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Even Without The Bread Crumbs....

My homie disclosed to me on yesterday that an ex of hers is trying to get at her. I have no problem with reconciliations when both parties have fixed issues and they are both single. My homie is off the market and the ex is pulling out all the stops to get at her.

This chick is a cool chick in her own right but she dogged my homie out. Seems like the nicer my homie treated her, the worse the chick acted. My homie was always there for the chick, even after they broke up and the chick got beat on by her new girlfriend.

It no longer shocks me that *some/average* women have an infantile like need for excitement (read:drama). They will bounce around from mate to to mate to satisfy that need. Women will date the playa/deadbeat/thug/jerk/etc for years then when their eggs start to dry up or that bed gets colder want to return to the nice/decent person. I'm sorry but you're not gonna ho-hop for 9 years then come running back to me. What I look like marrying the town beatpiece?

I'm not saying just because someone is "nice" you should be with them. However, if have someone who loves you and goes all out and in for you, cherish them. This isn't Hollywood, it's rare that a person like that is just going to sit around and wait for you. Nor are they gonna leave their new mate at the altar when you stand up to object. Don't wait til it's gone to realize how great someone is. Peace.

Monday, April 12, 2010

Do You Want a Mate or a Robot?

Instead of going with my first mind to watch Treme, I ended up on VH1. I didn't catch Basketball Wives and from what I heard, I dodged one there. I did, however, peep What Chilli Wants. I really wish I could get my 21 minutes back.

It's one thing to have high standards. It's totally different to have stupid and unrealistic standards. I'm picky as all get out, but even I know there are some thing I will end up compromising on with a potential mate. Anywho, I digress.

My first real gripe is who the heck is this Tianna chick and how did she become an expert? I recall them saying she wrote a book, but I have never heard of it. Maybe it's because I don't really read those kind of books. #shrug I'm not knocking this chick's hustle, I mean if someone is gonna pay me and give me tv exposure, why wouldn't I do the show? All I do know is that her accent is thick and annoying as heck.

On to Chilli's list, I don't remember everything on it but these stuck out in my mind:
* Can't eat pork - What the heck? I don't eat pork, but I wouldn't pass up a great chick because she likes a little bacon on her plate. I'd rather she didn't eat pork, but that's not a dealbreaker. I was tripping because Chilli had it so far up on her list. Out of all the things you need a mate, you go with their diet?

* Doesn't drink - No one wants a lush (at least I hope not). Social drinking is okay in my opinion. If someone isn't getting wasted 24/7, what the problem is? I can think of worse things people do than a little taste every once in a while. I woulda went with "no hard drugs" but that's just me.

*Gotta be "packin" - When I heard that, I was like "wow, really? c'mon shorty". Ghey or not, all women know that just because a dude is packin' doesn't mean he can slang it. She made herself look really birdlike with that one.

I think I'm gonna start a drinking game with this show. Everytime Chilli says she needs a dude with more "swag", I'm gonna take a shot. I've learned that swag is the chickenhead mating call. What the heck is swag? Everytime I ask a chick what that means, I get some evasive, vague answer. That's because chicks like Chilli want an illusion for a mate, not a real person.

I already know how this show is gonna end. She's gonna meet a "nice guy" but because he doesn't have enough "swag" she'll end up alone. When will these women ever learn?

Thursday, April 8, 2010

The Bible and the Rolling Stones

Last week, I posted an entry about an opportunity I was in the running for. Well, it did not pan out. I'd be a liar if I said I wasn't a little bummed out about it. However, I am still in the land of the living and have steady income coming in.

A little known fact about me is that I'm a casual Rolling Stones fan. I think Mick and the boys are pretty awesome. One of their most famous songs is You Can't Always Get What You Want. Sounds a bit defeatist until you hear the last couple lines of the chorus. "But if you try sometimes you might find you get what you need".

As much as I wanted that opportunity to work out, it wasn't what I needed. I simply wanted it; maybe the person who got it needed it. Maybe they were down to their last out and needed a homerun. That's a glamorized version but it boils down to it wasn't what I needed. I know that what I need will be 100x times greater than what I want because God's plan blows my plan out of the water.

Right now, Lamentations 3:25-26 is on my heart. Just in case you don't have your Bibles handy it says: "The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord". You don't choose whether or not you get knocked choose whether or not you get back up. Peace.

Monday, April 5, 2010

The WTF Chronicles Pt 974123: Snakes On My Plane

Saturday night, I decided to venture out with some homies to this little spot out near Midtown. I knew it was more of a chill vibe, so I elected to go super casual. No Polo, no plaid pants, no bowties, just straight sneakers, t-shirt, and fitted hat. I looked nice of course, but still clearly not my usual get-up.

We're all chillin' and drinking having a great time. There weren't a lot of bad chicks in there, but there was more than a handful. I'm not much of a dancer, so I typically post at the bar or chill out on a couch or something. My homeboy and I are just chillin' at the bar ordering drinks. I yell out to the bartender to get me a Patron and pineapple juice. Some grassy knoller dude overhears my drink order. "I ain't never had that is it?" I reply that it's good and that he should give it a shot. Conversation over right? WRONG! He gets his drink and comes over to tell me how much he likes it. He clinks my glass and says cheers. By now I realize that I am in the middle of a potential holla. Oy vey.

We were near Midtown, so I thought okay maybe this kat is a little ghey. I take my hat off to show my face just to show him I'm a chick. Didn't matter, he's still talking to me. I finally get a break when his liquor decides to run through him and he makes a dash to the restroom. My homeboy and I move around. By this time, this little young chick is dancing in front of me. It was a small club, but she had more than enough room to not be backing it up all on me. I chuckled because I thought it was cute.

"Why aren't you on the dance floor?" a voice rang out. It was the bar guy......AGAIN! He kept hinting around dancing. I know he wants to dance with me but I kept playing dumb. My homie and her girlfriend spotted my trapping from across the room. My homie starts dancing with my homeboy and her girlfriend starts dancing near me. I guess dude figured out what time it was and fell back.

I'm not one of those lesbians who get offended when a guy tries to holla. I was a bit perplexed on Saturday because usually when a guy tries to get at me, I'm wearing something that could be "girly" e.g. a Polo shirt and some jeans. Au contraire that night. Now I know a lot of dudes use the "poo at the wall" holla method. Meaning a guy will holla at 20 chicks in one night and just by law of averages, at least one will go for it. I just wish *cute* femmes were more like that. Peace.

Worth mentioning bonus cut: I saw C yesterday. She's gone natural and looks amazing. #lesigh Be cool, Ice Cold.