Thursday, December 30, 2010

Doesn't Take Mad Skillz to Wrap This Up

Oh 2010, where do I begin? It was a heck of a year for me. Learned some new things. Learned how to deal with some old things. 2010 definitely had more ups than downs. Even the downs were okay because they taught me a lesson I needed to learn. On to my wrap up.

Biggest story: BP oil spill. Each day I was amazed at how badly that spill was handled. It was a daily comedy of errors and gaffes that culminated in the CEO being shown the door. Don't cry for him though. I'm sure his millions will keep him afloat, no pun.

Honorable mention: The Haiti earthquake.

Person of the year: Julian Assange. The man behind Wikileaks easily gets my vote. Some label him a terrorist, but it's usually the people who have been exposed in one way or the other. I don't see anything wrong with the public knowing what goes on behind the curtain.

Gulliest quote of the year - "Fuck my victims. I carried them for 20 years and now I'm doing 150." - Bernie Madoff

Funniest quote of the year - "If you touch my junk, I'll have you arrested." - John Tyner to the TSA on patdowns

Overall quote of the year - ''You all know St. Patrick is credited with banishing snakes from Ireland. But you guys know the truth, sometimes. There were never any snakes in Ireland. St. Patrick just made that up. Which explains why he's the patron saint of FOX News.'' - Joe Biden

Movie of the year - Tie between The Book of Eli and Tangled. I'm not a big movie person so that is why Inception, Iron Man 2, etc isn't my movie of the year.

Album of the year - *gulp* This is the category I hate the most. There were 3 very solid contenders for album of the year, but there can only be one. My nod goes to Janelle Monae's The Archandroid. Just a wonderfully done album by an artist with a phenomenal voice.

Disappointing album of the year - The Roots - How I Got Over. Sure it got some acclaim but it was their worse album since The Tipping Point. Did they top out at Phrenology? We shall see.

Lastly peace to all the people we lost in 2010 including but not limited to: Gary Coleman, Teena Marie, Bernie Wilson, James Moody, Elizabeth Edwards, Leslie Nielsen, Gregory Issacs, Barbara Billingsley, Solomon Burke, Tony Curtis, Teddy Pendergrass, Apache, J.D. Salinger.

I await 2011 with open arms. I look forward to all the victories, breakthroughs, loves, challenges, successes, and failures it has to offer. I pray that anything that was not bringing you happiness and value in 2010, you check at the door tomorrow night. Be safe because I only want to bid 2010 adieu. Peace.

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Revelations After Temporary Parenting

Over the past few days, I had some more visitors. My niece, nephew, and little sister came to spend the holiday with me. I've watched them several times in Arkansas and they've even stayed with me for a day when they lived here. This time, I had all 3 for three days with no help. There are a few things I realized during this experience.

1. Even if I'm married, I don't think I would want over 2 children. Obvious exception would be if my wife had triplets. Otherwise, I think 2 is plenty. They can play with each other and when we go out as a family, we could buddy up.

2. Now, I have even more respect for single parents. Parenting is rough when there are two parents, so I'm sure it's even tougher when it's just one. There are no breaks, no plays off, no time outs. Especially if you have more than one. If you get one settled, the others are going to need or want something. Even when they're asleep, you're checking on them.

3. My wife will have to be the disciplinarian. One would think with all the whoopings I got growing up, I would be a master with the belt, shoe, switch. I am not. I don't think I've ever given any of them a spanking. I'm a living testimony that whoopings work (along with adequate coaching). I just don't think I can do it. I prefer diplomacy.

4. I would never stifle a child's personality. Take my little sister for example. We were driving and I was trying to get the lid off some orange juice I wanted to drink. I took the lid off with my mouth and asked sis to hold the bag open so I could spit the lid into it. I spit the lid into the bag and asked her "did I get it". Her response: "yeah plus some germs". I guffawed. Some parents would have slapped fire out her for that, but I thought it was hilarious. I told her that wit is a gift that signifies you are smart and funny. I would always want my children to be themselves.

5. Parenting is hella rewarding. A simple thanks and a hug from a child could warm up the coldest heart. They may fuss and fight, but at the end of the day you know they love each other and they love you.

I had a blast with my babies. I hope that I gave them more memories that will last their whole lives. I miss them already, however, now it's time to start the adult part of my vacation. And then I hit my #dougie. Peace.

Friday, December 17, 2010

Freestyle Friday: Vacay Edition

It's only been a week, but it feels like forever since I last blogged. Too much and not nearly enough has been going on. Anywho, that stuff will get blogged when I successfully break this writer's boulder I have. I can, however, churn out a few random things that are going on.

* I am starting my holiday vacation. No work until January. I didn't plan to take all my vacay at the end of the year, but due to an HR malfunction, here I am. I see lots of relaxation and cocktails in my immediate future.

* Throwing a shindig tomorrow night, I'm anticipating a smaller crowd but I keep having this sneaking feeling that the crowd be larger than I thought. Oh wells. The more the merrier as long as they're cool and well behaved. I feel like C will show up, but I'm prepared to deal with her accordingly....I hope.

* Speaking of C, I've pretty much conceded to the idea that she will forever be in my life. It may not be front row like before, but she'll always at least be in the nosebleeds. It's not necessarily a bad thing, I reckon. Might as well accept it, and deal with it.

* It's been really good reconnecting with my friend, Shynesobright. Until September, it had been 10 years since we seen each other. We chit chat over IM and twitter quite often. It's really cool to see the woman she has grown into. I remember when were just two dorky kids in grade school....or maybe I was the only dork.

* The Knicks are playing great basketball, however, 10 years of futility seems to damper my enthusiasm. I know you're probably saying "Laconic, it's only basketball". This is true, but I bleed blue and orange. I'd entertain the idea of sleeping with Sam Cassell if it guaranteed a Knicks championship. Okay, maybe that's too far.

* Hella stoked to see my babies next week. I always love having them around. Gotta find some fun stuff for us to do in these few days they're here.

Friday, December 10, 2010

Grab Your Nuts And Mase/Total Me

I majored in Finance at university. I live in the cold sterile world of bottom lines and balance sheets. As with anything quantitative, either it ain't or it is. 2+2 will never be anything but 4. Too bad affairs of the heart don't work that way. I've never been good with gray areas. I've never been one for sweet talk. Tell me what you want from me, how do you want it, when do you want it. I'll do the same. No country for mind reading and guessing games (or any kinda games for that matter).

A few weeks ago, as documented in my "I Don't Want to Be a Soldier Anymore", I told C that I can't be just friends with her. One would assume that if a person tells you something like that, they mean that ya'll should cease contact and go your own way. I've heard from C a few times since that conversation, but the other night was the kicker.

C and I had an IM convo earlier that day. A convo that really wasn't needed, but that's neither here nor there. I said all I wanted to say and was under the impression that she had done the same. That evening there's a knock on my door.....I look out the peephole to see C standing on my doorstep. No call, no text, no email, nothing....just showed up at my house unannounced. #wheretheydothatat?

After I managed to wipe the "WTH" look off my face, I invite her in. We sit down. "I know you probably have a million things running through your mind right now". Actually I only have one.....DF you doing over here? "Nah, I'm good. What's up?" She informs me that her visit is to finish the aforementioned finished IM convo. Me (thinking): Arrgh? I tell her that I figured that convo was over, but since she's here she might as well say/ask what she wants. She goes on this spiel about how her bro won't let her in so she comes to me if she has any questions. I answered the few questions she had (as vaguely) as possible.

I'm thinking to myself "are we done yet?". Nope! She wants to go look at my pictures. She wants to giving me Christmas tree decorating advice. She wants to shoot the breeze. I thought you were here because you are so concerned about your bro's well-being. Appears to me, you're more concerned about our well-being.

All I want for C to do is tell me what she wants from me. If she wants me to be her stand-in girlfriend again, just say so. If she wants to screw me, just say so. If she wants to marry me, just say so. If she wants me to go slip on a banana peel, just say so. All this attempted mind-frick is grating on my nerves. Not because it's working, but because it's insulting. C ain't got enough stamps in her passport to mind-frick me.

Obviously, there is some reason why C won't make an exit from my life. I'm praying. I'm exploring. I'm telling God that whatever His plan is for this situation, I'm down. If C ultimately means me well, He'll reveal it. If C means me harm, He'll remove her. In the meantime, I'll keep my eyes, my ears, and I reckon my mind open. Peace.

Monday, December 6, 2010

The WTF Chronicles Part 12: House Crashers

I know the date says I blogged a couple weeks ago, but I feel like it's been a couple months ago. Your homie has been going thru a serious case of writer's block and a general decline in blog mojo. However, never fear, you knew I'd take a sledgehammer to the boulder and get it poppin, b. So here's what's been going on with your fearless hero.

C's bro has been crashing with me for almost a week now. I don't know her reasons nor would I ever ask her why he can't stay there (besides the obvious answer). I'm enjoying having him around. Whilst I thrive in solitude, it's cool to have someone around who's into the same things I'm into. We've been watching sports, talking about women, and drinking beer. Pretty awesome.

It's not all sunshine and butterscotch, but I don't feel any discomfort or anything. I do have a couple "issues" (and I use that term loosely). 1. He feels the need to check in with me all the time. Dude, I'm not your wife. If I give you a key, that means you are free to roam around the country. Does that mean you can stumble in all times of morning keeping up ruckus? Heck to the naw. Does that mean you can come in at 9 pm without me sweating you? Sure in the hades does.

2. It feels like to me he plays up his anger with C's GF. "Yeah man, I went over C's house yesterday and that bitch was there. She tried to speak to me, but I just was real snappy with her." Okay my dude if you say so. You all chest swole but just last night you were over there cooking with/for them. If you're not angry with that gal, that's on you. Personally, I wouldn't break any kind of bread with them because I feel like that encourages the bad behavior of the GF. He called and asked me did I want a plate....negro please. I'd go to a soup kitchen before I ate anything of theirs.

Over the weekend, he suggested that he, C, and myself go out one of these nights. He says to me that we should have a talk with C. I'm thinking to myself "this sounds like an intervention". I break it down to him that it won't work. First of all, I'm the LAST person C wants to hear from concerning her relationship. I could drop science on C from dusk to dawn but the message would get lost because of the messenger.

Secondly, aside from a late night IM convo, C has given me no reason to believe she has hit her leaving point. Until C hits rock bottom, she's gonna continue to eat whatever that gal feeds her. Plus even if C would listen to me, I'm not touching that. I've been at the point in my life where I realize the only human I have to face in the mirror each day is myself. I'm tired of trying to keep folk from what I think is ruining their lives. Being the voice of reason is tiresome.

I told him the best thing to do is pray the gal out of C's life. Pray that C opens her eyes and sees what is truly going on in her life. Just keep loving on C and make her feel like she has a support system. I'm pretty sure that C will get out of this situation more sooner than later. However, I'm just as certain she's gonna end up in similar situation soon after. I hope I'm wrong.