Thursday, June 23, 2011

You Banged The Gavel Already?

We all judge. Every single last one of us. The Bible tells us not to judge, yet we do it at least 10 times a day. We look at the young black dude running and think "I hope he ain't running from a crime". We see the lady at the store with 2 kids and think "I wonder if the dad is around". Just like that, we have judged.

Last night, I was talking with a homie of mine. Somehow, the subject got on me and my lack of dating. I told her that most women see me and judge me on the spot. They see the camo shorts and fitted then think to themselves "she wanna be a thug" or "she probably work at a warehouse or in security". No diss to warehouse workers or security guards. They watch me walk by and think "she doesn't know a dinner fork from a salad fork" or "she probably wants a woman to wait on her hand and foot".

Just like that, I am thrown from the dating pool before I even open my mouth. The instant judging is one of the main reasons why I don't do "cold hollas". I feel that I do much better with women I have established some kind of rapport with. I cannot count the number of times a woman has conversed with me and said "I never thought you were like this". Of course the first few times I had to ask what that meant. I've gotten a wide range of answers from "I figured you were one of those typical wanna be thug/playas who had bad credit and lived with your mama" to "I figured you don't read books without pictures".

It's cold, but for a lot of folk perception is reality. I'd be a fool to think that folk will ever stop judging. However, for those of us who are in the dating world, we should definitely dig a little deeper before casting people aside. You just never know what is under that fitted and underneath that t-shirt. Peace.