Monday, October 10, 2011

The WTF Chronicles Vol. 1738: But We're Not Even Together

Now I see why I rarely go on dates. The dating scene is just way too stressful and the rewards rarely match up with the risk. I may joke about finding a trophy wife but I'm about the point where I'm serious.

A little over a month ago, I exchanged numbers with this chick. I realized that her convo really wasn't doing it for me so I stopped talking. A couple weeks after that, I send a text just being polite and whatnot. She hits me back with "??". I figure she had deleted my number and kept it moving. About a week ago she hits me up talmbout "you must have a girlfriend". Really chick? Anywho, I explained my singleness and how I fell back because she tried to play me to the left. We start texting here and there.

Now this is why I really don't like texting a lot. I don't have a texting personality. Meaning I can come off really dry and jerkish over a text. I try to be concise and get everything I need to say in as few characters as I can. One night she was telling me how much she likes reality shows. My response "that's cool but I'm not a big fan of reality shows". Now I feel like that's an appropriate reply. It was late but I was trying to be a champ so I ask her about her weekend plans. She tells me she was thinking about going to ATL to visit her bro who happens to be a cameraman for a pretty major show. My response "oh that's dope, welp I'm hella sleepy so I'll talk to you later". Again, decent reply. Keep those texts in mind, they will be needed later.

Fast forward to last Thursday, I invite her out for drinks. I like to go out pretty quickly because I'm all about saving time. No need for us to talk and talk and talk then meet up and it's nothing. We're at the table enjoying drinks, talking and whatnot. In my mind, things are going swell.

She busts out "I'm glad I met up with you in person because I figured you were a jerk from your text messages". Me (in my mind): Immediately I regret this decision. Me (out loud): Oh word? Well I'm glad you decided to see for yourself. Now I'm trying to dead this convo because I know it's headed down a slippery slope. She goes on "yeah I was all set to walk out if you had something flip to me" Me (to myself): Say brawd, you better enjoy this free drink and shaddup! Me (out loud): *chuckle* It's cool, we're good. Let's just enjoy the drink and be cool.We talk for a little while longer. She invites me out to dinner the next night. I'm like that's fine. Small talk at her car. Hug. Go home.

Over the next few days, I would always be the one trying to initiate a conversation. Trying to ask questions. Trying to keep a conversation going. It was like talking to a brick wall. Now here I am going above and beyond what I usually do just to show that I am a pretty nice person once you get to know me. It was sorta like when a comic is bombing on stage. They go for anything to try to get the crowd into it. Jokes, sarcasm, whatever.

So today, I hit her up via text asking how her day went. She straight up spazzed back. She talmbout "I was gonna call you back but I realized that all we could talk about is how opposite we are. You think you're superior to me. Good luck in finding someone on your level". My first reaction was to go the frick in. Like no lube in. Then I had a flashback. Such foolery reminded me of many arguments with C. So I stopped myself and calmly responded "differences aren't a bad thing, I respect your views, do what you gotta do". If she's anything like C, she's stewing because I didn't throw myself at her mercy and beg for another opportunity.

I thought further "this brawd just dumped me but we ain't even together". That's crazier than a soup sandwich. Then I thought how frickin' cowardly is that? You can't attempt to tell me who I am without not even giving me the opportunity to defend myself. I'm a firm believer in giving folk the crust up front. I know my flaws and I think it's best you know them 2 weeks in than 2 years in. However, even with my flaws and eccentric nature, I'm quite certain I will make someone a very awesome girlfriend. Just won't be that nutcase. Peace.

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