Friday, February 25, 2011

Solid Gold: LI's Greatest Hits (Or Misses)

I'm hella appreciative to all ya'll out there who peep out my blog. In the beginning, traffic was light but I can tell now that more folk are checking out the blog. I get DMs, FB messages, etc telling me how someone enjoyed a blog posting. I figured today would be a good day to drop what I like to think of as my greatest hits.

1. Say Baby What's Your Sign - In this blog, I regale the world with tales of my bad experiences with certain astrological signs.

2. It Ain't Always Gumdrops and Cookie Dough - As hard as it is to believe, LI ain't all good.

3. Snakes On My Plane - Some kats just can't resist Awlladis.

4. It's Not Me....It's You - I go boho and drop a little poetry for ya'll. *lights incense* *snaps fingers*

5. There's Got to Be a Morning After - I channel my inner Biggie Smalls and tell ya'll a fairly personal story.

6. Wind Beneath My Wings - Are your friends really just your friends?

Blogging is hella therapeutic to me. I enjoy doing it even if no one read it. However, I love the love that I get. So to all my viewers, lurkers, commenters......thanks! Catch you on volume 2. Peace.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

29 Thought Salute Part 1

As I rapidly approach another birthday (for which I'm extremely grateful), I think back on some lessons I've come across on the way to this point. This by no means a definitive list, just 29 for 29.

1. Trust in God, always. No matter how hard things may seem, it's much better to trust Him than to trust man.

2. Just because you had bad experiences at other churches, doesn't mean all churches are bad.

3. Tithe on your gross, not your net.

4. Everybody lies. If someone tells you they'll never lie to you, they're lying. We all will tell lies whether it be by omission or commission. We either omit the truth or commit to not telling the truth.

5. Never go anywhere broke. If you don't have the money, stay at home.

6. If you're diggin' someone, let them know. No matter how obvious you are with it, don't assume folk can read your mind.

7. A chick can hurt you in ways a dude could never dream about. Chicks know what buttons to push and how to push them for maximum damage.

8. Never fight for love. Either it ain't or it is.

9. When you finally get to have sex with someone you've wanting for a while, use ALL your tricks that night. You may not come up to bat again. Chicks will put you in the friend zone with the quickness, if you're headed there may as well go there with a BOOM!

10. Never believe someone who brags about how they put it down errtime. We've all turned in some bad to average performances.

11. Having your own place (no roommates) is one of the best things.....EVER!

12. Normal is not something to strive for. We're all a bit throwed whether it be by uniqueness or crazyness.

13. It's only corny if she's not feeling you.

14. Always give a side-eye to folk who harp on how straight they are as well as those who harp on how gay they are.

I'll unveil the last 15 on that glorious day of my birth. Peace.

Monday, February 14, 2011

Who's In Charge of This Slipshod Operation?

I've always prided myself in being a thinker. Actually, I'd consider myself an overthinker. Maybe because I concern myself with the big picture. I rarely let my heart make any kind of decisions in my life. I used to. Now I don't. Maybe I don't trust my heart.

I felt like I let my heart take the lead once and it screwed me royally. I think my heart deserves another chance, but my brain has turned my body into a dictatorship. My brain won't even let my heart put a sheet of paper in the suggestion box. My brain runs a tight ship. No country for letting my heart get my body all wrapped up in emotions and throwing caution to the wind. My brain stays the course.

What is the course though? What if my brain is actually the coward? What if my brain is covering its fear with this huge bravado? Maybe brain and ego are in cahoots. Brain doesn't want to see ego get bruised. So is ego actually the one calling shots here? Wait a sec, lemme have a seat. So all this time, brain thought it was protecting me but in actuality ego is the muscle? Hmm, that changes everything.

Poor heart, even if it snuck past my brain, it would still fall victim to my ego. Peace.

Friday, February 11, 2011

Freestyle Friday: Sign The Papers Edition

* Tomorrow, my hubby is moving out. He fought it and lost.....papers have been signed. I still got love for him cause he's my dude, but he wore me so low. I'm sure it's more of me and my inability to have folk in my space; however, incessant rambling and the like doesn't do it for me. I hope he gets out on his own, walks tall, and finds his truth. I wish him well.

* I really want this to be the last cold snap of the season. I don't do well with cold weather. Snow and ice are pretty to look at, but since Houston drivers struggle with dry pavement, I'd rather skip it. Don't get me started on the wind chill. I'm ready for spring.

* Less than a month to my birthday and for once I'm not in a funk about it. I'm looking forward to my birthday. I have no clue of what I'm gonna do for it, so that's a whole nother issue in itself.

* I don't have an official valentine, so I want to do something nice for all the special women folk in my life. Not sure what it may be yet, but it will be something to let them know how much they mean to me.

* I've told him frequently, but I'm very proud of my brother. He's made some steps in his life that really shows how much he has matured. I can only imagine the huge smile my mother has in Heaven looking down on her son. I love that kat so much, couldn't ask for a better big brother.

* The Knicks are playing some pretty awful ball as of late. I dunno if it's the trade rumors, but something is eating this team. I know they are better than this. I want D'Antoni fired though.

* Yesterday, I got news that this woman I knew (of) back home was shot and killed by her boyfriend. It kinda took me aback, immediately I put C in my prayer. I know no woman thinks this will happen to her, but it happens. It was weird because I hadn't thought about her in a while. All I will do is continue to pray for her.

Monday, February 7, 2011

And You Can New Jack Swing On My Nuts....

But as time went on I had a talk with my mind/
friends like you and you I gotta leave behind

One of the hardest things to admit is that you have outgrown certain friends in your life. It hurts to know that the folk you used to hang so tight with no longer add any value to your life. It pains me to see how different of a path I am taking from them. However, everybody can't go to the next level with you.

Maybe early last year, I could deal with folk calling me with the same issue over and over again. Now to see a person in the same rut they were in last year disgusts me. Kats and katettes need to get off that figure 8 course, frill. Everyday, I'm picking up my cross to follow Him. Anything that is not helping me get closer to Him and His Promise for my life, I gotta leave it behind. I'm on a quest to find that next level and the level after that and so on and so forth.

I can count the number of calls I've taken from non-family members these last few weeks. So to ya'll whose calls I answered.....this blog ain't bout you #smile. Nah, I don't wanna hang. Nah, don't tell me about that same triflin' mate I said you needed to leave. Nah, I don't wanna hear about you complain about a job that you shoulda left months ago but you're too complacent to do so. Nah, I haven't changed my status on FB in I dunno how long.

Yeah, I'm hanging out with that homie again. Yeah, I'm going out of town that many times. Yeah, I know that where I am now is nowhere near my peak. Yeah, I'm gonna stay in the house and read a book. Yeah, the peace that I have in my life is almost inexplicable. Yeah, I plan on keeping it.

I thank you for serving your purpose. You rode with me as far as you were supposed to. You actually taught me a lot....of what NOT to do. I hope that all the wisdom and knowledge I imparted you with, you someday use it. I promise you I wasn't hating. I promise you that even though I lack experience in certain areas, I knew what I was talking about. I could see the picture because I wasn't in the frame. I know at time I can be a pompous douche, but I did it because my expectations of you were high because my expectations of myself are higher.

Maybe one day, we'll link up again. If not....thnks fr th mmrs. Peace.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

All These Forks and Me With No Plate

I've been in Houston for 5 years now. Don't get me wrong, I've had a blast. I've met some great people. However, it was a move that was made in someone else's shadow. No matter how successful I become here, I'll always feel like I didn't forge my own path. I've always been the kind of person who marched to the beat of her own drum. The person whose motto is "if there isn't a path....make one". I didn't make a path to Houston. I followed someone else's path.

I feel like I've exorcised all the demons that I have here in the H. I've learned to see my experiences with C as chapters of my book and not a story of its own. I did all I could do with that. I'm finally at a point where I can look back on it all and smile. Just a few short months ago, I wasn't even close. No more running. I realized that running from a problem only puts more distance between you and the solution.

I learned a lot about my "gay self" over these last 5 years. While I've "known" I was gay for years, I got schooled about the ways of lesbian life here. I'm hella grateful for the wiser, older lesbian friends I made here. They really took me under their wings. Very appreciative for them. The foundation was already strong, they just helped me learn how to navigate chicks. I was hella green in a sense when I first set foot here.

I know this blog reads like a goodbye Houston letter. I'm seriously considering taking my talents somewhere else. Shockingly, going back to The Hill is a very distinct possibility. I had to really take stock of where am I in life. I thought to myself "what kind of gay scene is there on The Hill", "will I be able to meet chicks". Then I answered myself "you don't do the gay scene here, why would you do it somewhere else?" "of course you'll be able to meet chicks, you're you, duh!"

Nothing is set in stone plus it ain't my call to make. Perhaps God figures I haven't did all I'm supposed to do here. Maybe I have. His Will be done. Peace.