Monday, November 28, 2011

A Day Late With My Thievery

I saw a lot of bloggers doing this Sunday Stealing post and I thought it was hella cool. An entry is an entry right? Here goes:

1. Have you ever licked the back of a CD to try to get it to work?
I did it last night driving back to Houston. It works.

2. What’s the largest age difference between yourself and someone you’ve dated?
5 years younger

3. Ever been in a car wreck?
No, thank God.

4. Were you popular in high school?
People knew me and I knew people.

5. Have you ever been on a blind date?
Yes, on a dare. Never again.

6. Are looks important?
I have to be attracted to you on some level.

7. Do you have any friends that you’ve known for 10 years or more?
Yep and I love them dearly.

8. By what age would you like to be married?
By my 32nd birthday

9. Does the number of people a person’s slept with affect your view of them?
I'm not here to judge.

10. Have you ever made a mistake?
Is this a trick question? Of course not.

11. Are you a good tipper?
Heck yeah, if I get great service, I'll make it worth their while.

12. What’s the most you have spent for a haircut?
I have yet to need a haircut.

13. Have you ever had a crush on a teacher?
Does an after school site coordinator count? If so, yes. *beams*

14. Have you ever peed in public?
Can't say that I have.

15. What song do you want played at your funeral?
Frank Sinatra - I Did It My Way

16. Would you tell your parents if you were gay?
I wish I had properly told my mother. I can understand why some people don't. Coming out is no joke.

17. What would your last meal be before getting executed?
As many traditional Spicy Garlic wings from BWW as I could handle, fries from Wings and More, a bag of cheddar rice snacks, 5 Caramelo candy bars, 3 bottles of Fiji water, and of course some Sprite Zero to wash it down with.

18. Beatles or Stones?
The Stones all day!

19. If you had to pick one person on earth to die, who would it be?
Anyone who isn't living their lives to the fullest is already dead to me.

20. Beer, wine or hard liquor?
If I only get one choice: beer and lots of it.

21. Do you have any phobias?
I won't call them phobias but I dislike parking garages and flights over 2 hrs.

22. What are your plans for the future?
Get my business up and flourishing, pay off my student loans, marry this wonderful woman, have a family, do a track with Mark Morrison and Mokenstef, find Carmen Sandiego, travel the world, enjoy life to the fullest.


Friday, November 18, 2011

Freestyle Friday: Gobble Black Pigskin Edition

You know the drill: I ramble, you read, everybody wins.

* Austin, TX blows reminds me of The Hill, if The Hill sucked. If I ever left the Houston area, I'd probably leave Texas. Dallas womps and LOL San Antonio is just wack.

* General Motors can kiss my whole butthole. Thanks to those geniuses, I'm looking at $350 to replace my factory radio. I guess I shouldn't complain too much, I'd rather my car run well than have a super fancy stereo.

* I have been so unproductive lately. I've been too far in my head these last couple weeks. Gotta find a way up outta there.

* My fingernails are ridiculously long at the moment. They really do look like claws. I should be disappoint. I'll get a manicure on Monday.

* It has been a great year for Razorback football. They just need to remain focused and beat Mississippi State tomorrow, then the big showdown for The Boot on Black Friday. If the Hogs win out, could be talking national title. Thank you based Petrino!

* I'm taking my talents to Arkansas next week. Two trips in less than 3 months...I'm getting much better at this. I really should have bought a plane ticket, but I don't mind driving. It's relaxing.

* If my sister doesn't do a Thanksgiving dinner, I guess I'll put together something for the kiddies. Even though I'm not a holiday person, I think it's important for them to have some kind of traditions. Ya'll didn't think I could cook eh?

* I don't know where this will lead, but I'm really enjoying the journey so far. Nice pace that flows quite smoothly. Yeah, I'm talking about YOU *waves*

If I don't manage to get a blog out before next Thursday, I wish everybody a blessed and Happy Thanksgiving. Peace.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

The WTF Chronicles: I Ain't Saying I'm A Golddigger...

Allow me to start this blog off by apologizing to all the straight women of the world. I did not understand the troubles you ladies go through with cheap dudes. Let me regale you with the story that caused me to open my eyes.

Yesterday evening after a pretty cool day of snapping photos and hanging out, this kat calls my homie and invites her out for dinner. She informs him that she isn't alone, so he's like that's cool the more the merrier. We get to the restaurant (Thai food, keep that in mind) and meet duke there. Seems like your typical dinner.

Time to order. Since my homie and wanted the same dish, we decided to split and order an appetizer to go with it. Duke orders baby rolls (small spring rolls) and some tea. Immediately makes a lame joke about the rolls not having any babies in it. By now I've already labeled him as a Grade A cornball. He makes some small talk with me and with my campaign to be less douchey I entertain him. In the back of my mind I'm thinking "Lawd where is the food...anything to shut this guy up".

Since prayers of a righteous woman avails much, our food finally comes. He gets his baby rolls and proceeds to make the same joke about the rolls not having any babies in them. I do everything in my power not to give the most epic of sideeyes. One: jokes about pedophillic cannibalism don't do it for me and b. you already said that, ninja.

After devouring his baby rolls, he asks for some of the appetizer my homie and I ordered. I was already stuffed, so I'm like knock yourself out, playa. And boy did he ever! For someone who swore up and down they weren't hungry, he sure went in. I haven't seen chicken disappear faster since that Pay Day special fiasco Popeyes had a couple years ago.

The waiter comes by and clears the up the check. I catch a glance at the bill, a mere $28 which is hella cheap for 3 people. Duke picks up the check, before I can open my mouth to thank him, this enwurd says us "I had the baby rolls and the tea". Duke shoots us a look that says "you brawds on your own". We ask the waiter to separate our stuff from his. He gets his check and throws down exactly $10 (which wasn't a solid, instead like a bunch of ones). So not only did this enwurd not pay for my homie, he ain't even leave a tip.

Never in my life have I been out with my homie and a dude who liked her and had to pay for a meal or drink. I've never met up with a chick I liked and her homegirl and didn't pay for at least their meal. I know nothing dries the puthy up faster than being cheap. Plus, you get in good with the chick's homegirl and you're pretty much golden.

Was I expecting dude to buy my food? Not at all. Should he at least paid for my homies food? Heck to the yeah. If you that broke/cheap, only women you're gonna be getting it on with are Hangela and Palmetta. Boy stop! Peace.