Thursday, July 29, 2010

Wind Beneath My Wings or Breeze Beneath Your Skirt?

Part of the beauty of being a lesbian is the ability to empathize with women (because I am one) and to understand where guys come from (because I date women). Last night I was having some discussions with my homie. My homie (female) isn't a sucker when it comes to dudes. I figured she knew all the tricks of the game, but I reckon last night I schooled her to the game.

I'll say it before and I'll say it again: women can be platonic friends with men regardless of the guy's attractiveness. Men can be friends with women on certain conditions: if the woman is gay (less femme the better) or the woman isn't attractive to them. I was telling my homie that whilst her friendship may be genuine and strictly platonic (I'll discuss alternatives later), dudes will be a friend, maybe even a good one; however, if you offer him the draws....he's gonna take them. No hesitation.

I think most women accumulate male friends after a failed holla because they never want to be a "bad guy". So they will continue to be nice to the dude thinking that he's over them not hooking up. Don't get it twisted, most dudes will not keep pining away after one chick. He will invest money in the "Cooch 401k plan". Keep being cool, fixing your sink, going to the movies with you all with the idea of one of these days "cashing out" aka hittin' it.

Then there are women who will use a guy under the guise of being friends. She'll monopolize all his time. Allow him to buy her things that are way out of the friend realm. Do just enough to make it seems like this kat has a chance to be with her. This friendship is only beneficial to her. Dude has a snowball's chance in hades to hit, this chick just wants her ego stroked.

You may be wondering "how does this theory work with lesbians?" Glad you asked. This is how my friends break down: 62% of my friends are women that I became friends with before I came out (strictly platonic....wouldn't dream of going there with them), 20% are women that I became friends with here in the H (strictly platonic......bonded over common interests, likeminded, etc), and then there's the last 18% (yeah we're cool and ish, but if she let ya, you bet ya).

Keeping it all the way funky, if one of the chicks in the 18% came to my door in a trenchcoat and said "let's do this", I'm not gonna be like "oh no, we're friends". [VOICE=Clay Davis from The Wire]Shhhhhhiiiiiidddddd[/VOICE] Does that make me any less of a friend? I don't think so. The ultimate goal of being friends with them isn't trying to date them/have sex/whatevy. I enjoy their friendship and think they're hella cool. I'm just sayin'.......if they're down....heck yeah I'm down. Peace.

Monday, July 26, 2010

Party and Shullbit Mix

Just a quick mix to get your work/school/chill week poppin' off. For some odd reason, Nas, Foxy, and Ja Rule got dumb air time. Anywho, keep that focus level up!

1. Ja Rule - Holla Holla
2. Mia X/Master P/Foxy Brown - Party Don't Stop
3. Jim Jones/Ron Browz/Juelz - Pop Champagne
4. Fabolous - Everyday, Everywhere...(whatever that song is called)
5. Slum Village/Kanye - Selfish
6. Big Boi - Shutterbugg
7. Kurupt - We Can Freak It
8. The Firm - Firm Biz
9. Jermaine Dupri - Gotta Getcha
10. Ghostface/Nate Dogg/Mark Ronson - Ooh Wee
11. Ceelo - I Like It
12. Nas/Ginuwine - You Owe Me
13. Ja Rule - Livin' It Up
14. Rah Digga - Party and ....
15. LL Cool J - Phenomenon
16. Foxy/Jigga - I'll Be
17. Joe Budden - Pump It Up

In honor of my upcoming 10 year HS reunion, I'm working a 2000 mix. Suggestions are encouraged. Peace.

Friday, July 23, 2010

Freestyle Friday: the Man It's Been a Minute Edition

* Once you realize that you're completely over someone, it's like a mild state of euphoria. There was a time I thought I'd never get to this point. Thank God for deliverance.

* After reading more and more about Mrs. Shirley Sherrod, I find myself admiring her a little more. If you watch the whole video, you will not see a racist, but a woman who fought through thoughts that many of us have. I hate the White House threw her under the bus so quickly, but such is life.

* Piggybacking off #2.....when did Fox News get so much power? Seems like the White House stays throwing people under the bus based on stories ran on this network.

* Where is all the fervor from the Obamanites? They've been pretty quiet as of late. No diss to Obama, but where's all the singing and dancing and t-shirts? Have they realized the fallibility of their hero?

Dang, I've gotten a little political today.....let us move on.

* Talking to my homies and realizing how much our stories parallel is amazing. I wish I had known lesbians like them back when I was younger. I hope that I can be an ally to a younger lesbian who is dealing with the complexities of coming out. Especially ones who live in smaller towns.

* I met someone who was able to engage me mentally and it blew my mind. Now it remains to be seen whether or not this was anomaly, but it felt good. Intelligence is such a turn on to me. It does something to me when a woman can stimulate my mind. If nothing else, I definitely want to make friends with her.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Labels? We Don't Need No Stinkin' Labels!

The other night at a happy hour, a group of lesbians got together and discussed various topics. One of the topics was a go-around the table and pick a label whether you label yourself or not. To the dismay of some, I went with soft stud (#cringe).

I don't have any problems with labels. How else would I know to dry clean only or if that cleaning product is flammable? I do have a problem with labeling within a label. I don't knock chicks who consider themselves studs, femmes, stems, butch, queer, etc. Personally, I think labels are way too restricting.

Whatever I want to do whether it be paint my toenails hot pink, wear a killer pair of panties, or even let a chick penetrate me.....that's what I'm gonna do. You can sit there and use a label as your guide, but I choose to let me be my guide. You can let a label run your life or you can go label-less and run your own life.

I'm sure there are some studs out there who consider me a "poser" or a "fraud". Clothes don't make a person. Clothes are not permanently attached to our bodies. Underneath the Polo, the 501s, the Sperrys is a woman. A woman I'm damn proud to be. So, I'm not your "sir" "king" "prince" "papi" "daddy" or whatever they liked to be called. I may not be brimming with femininity, I embrace what I do have.

Monday, July 19, 2010

You Done Tore Your Draws

What better way to get back in the swing of things by posting a world famous "Lezzies are Crazy" type blog? Peep game.

I am fully convinced that 86% of women have no clue of what they want. There's a chick I know, let's call her Rock City. Rock City and I met a few years back.....years ago when I wasn't as versed in crazy woman speak and lezzie lingo. I guess I had been lucky in my early ghey years because the chicks I dealt with had one face and didn't speak out of both ends of the mouths. Anywho, I digress. From jump, I thought Rock City was pretty cool.

Eventually, she confessed she had a girlfriend, but in her words were in the process of breaking up. There's my green showing right there, silly me to think breaking up really meant breaking up. We would do lunch and chit chat and kee-kee....hell I even bought this chick flowers. I call myself being there for her whilst she went through her "break up". Long story short, Santa and the Easter Bunny shot dice in my bedroom before she broke up with her girl.

Smarten up, Nas.....I did and put her back in the box where she belonged. We kept it cool and casual. I do my thing, she kept doing her relationship thing. Fast forward about a month or so ago, she asks me "LaconicIcon, if I was single, would you be my girlfriend" #needlescratchesrecord #brakesscreech I ask where did this come from and I tell her that we would have to hang out to see if I still liked her.

A couple weeks after that, I'm at the spot with my homies. I get a text talking from Rock City about why am I acting funny style and that she knows I see her. Lo and behold, she's at the spot. After some texts and my homie calling her out, she comes over to the table. She announces that she's single and I am woman hear me roar and all that good chest beating type stuff. Meanwhile, I'm sittin' back with the "o rly" face because I've seen this movie play out before.

Against my better judgement, we start hanging out pretty tough. As time went on, the hanging out got more sporadic. The calls got shorter. The text messages became non existent. It didn't take a Rhode's scholar to figure out what happened: she got back with her ex.

Now that would be fine and dandy except she felt the need to hit me with a Dear Jane letter. All that wasn't needed with me. I didn't go into this situation expecting anything except for a some chill time and hopefully some booty (hey let's keep it funky). So since we were on this honesty kick, I decided to lay all my cards out. I let her know that I find her intriguing and that I respect her decision. That should be the end of it, right? WRONG!

This chick goes back to talk to my homie and made it seem like I was still sweating her after she told me to kick rocks. That got me mad tight because that's ridiculous. I hate when folks try to make themselves seem like the martyr. My purpose of telling how I felt was to just get it all out there, she can't ever say that my feelings were unclear. These chicks definitely need to get a ladder and get over themselves.

Her draws are torn with me and her ass is flappin' in the wind. I wish her well. I wouldn't sweat a chick in a sauna. #ontothenextone

Back Once Again It's the Incredible

So I was just browsing around the interwebs and decided to type in and guess what it was UNBLOCKED! I'm back folks! #popchampage #doesthedamedash

Not being able to block during the day was really stealing my mojo because by the time evening floats around, I'm not feeling it. Not sure how long this reprieve will last, but I shall ride it til the wheels fall off.

Let's it get, B!