Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Wrap It Up, B

Tomorrow, we not only complete another year, but a whole decade. As much as I would like to do a decade in review, I'll leave that up to the journalists. I'll just stick to wrapping up 2009. This is a totally non definitive list, just freestyling. Here goes.

Obama went through is first year of presidency. He was fought on everything he tried to do. Heck the media even went after Michelle for wearing shorts. I've never been an Obama fan but I do think they went in extra on him. Hope year 2 goes a little better for him.

The economy stayed in the crapper all year. Employers laid people off left and right. Employers used the economy as an excuse to do any and everything they wanted to. Over the last few weeks, seems as if the economy is making a little bit of a rebound. I pray this recovery kicks into overdrive heading into the new year.

2009 started as the year of beating a chick down. Chris Brown lumped Rhianna up and ended up becoming a verb. Bebe Winans even got in on the act (allegedly *winks*). However, seems like women went postal and started taking dudes out. Arturo Gatti, Steve McNair, and Chris Henry....RIP.

Jeans got tighter but not for the ladies, but the fellas. Tight pants, loud shirts, and colorful sneakers became the uniform for "swag". Please for 2010 let's get rid of swag and go back to the essentials of cool.

Madoff ran off with all the cash. Stafford too. Madoff went out like a G. He said he acted alone and let his family spend the dough. My prayers go out to all the folk who lost the money in their schemes...especially the ones whose money was lost in pensions by trusted money managers.

Michael Jackson died and it sent shockwaves. Just about every generation grew up on Mike's music. I don't think we'll ever see another talent like him. The guy was a musical genius and uber talented. Through his music he will live forever. RIP to the King of Pop.

We lost a lot of people in 2009. Much love and RIP to: Brittany Murphy, Alaina Reed, Farrah Fawcett, Oral Roberts, Bea Arthur, Walter Cronkite, Patrick Swayze, Koko Taylor, Kay Yow, Billy Mays, Percy Sutton, David "Pop" Winans, as well as everyone we lost, famous or not.

Let's hand out some hardware:

Person of the year - Annise Parker - Not for becoming the first openly gay mayor of Houston, but for winning the election with tact and grace.

Album of the year - Wale - Attention Deficit

Underrated Album of the Year - (tie) Tanya Morgan - Brooklynati and Melanie Fiona - The Bridge

Movie of the Year - The Princess and the Frog (barely beats out The Hangover)

Facepalm Quote of the Year - "I don't wanna be alone. The Aloneness is so alone" - Kate Gosselin

In closing, 2009 was a great year. It had its ups and it had its downs, but overall I was pretty satisfied. I welcome not only a new year but a new decade with open arms. I welcome all the friends I am to meet. All the goals I am to accomplish. Please everyone be safe tomorrow night because I want to see you in 2010. 2009, I bid you farewell.......peace.

Monday, December 28, 2009

I Am Ignorance's Enemy

Last night I was invited by my homie to come out to a sports bar. I really didn't feel like going but my homie told me that her girlfriend's friend was gonna be there. I finally agreed to go after my homie tells me that she wants someone there to talk to. Something told me I shoulda just stayed at home.

I arrive at the spot, hop out my car, and hear "you cannot park here". Some buff African dude is telling me I can't park. Mind you I had been to church earlier and quicker than I can say amen I'm heated. I'm like dude you saw me sitting in my car for like 5 minutes then you saw me get out of my car and head towards the sports bar. Did it not occur to you to stop me before I got that far? We go back and forth for a minute and finally I'm like dude you're a tool and move my car.

I finally get parked and get inside. I spot my homie, her gal, and what appeared to be a dude. I get upclose to the table and to my chagrin it was a chick with an eyebrow piercing *welcome back 1999*(going forward we'll call her B), not a dude. I give my homie and her gal a hug and go to shake the chicks hand to introduce myself. *smack* I'm thinking to myself "hell naw". We're all sitting around chillin' watching the game. Now I love sports. I'd probably punt a puppy if it meant the Knicks winning a 'ship. I don't get ignant with it. B is all loud, running around screaming, just showing out. *facepalm*

She finally calms down a little bit. She's going on and on about how she has to drop this chick and how this other chick isn't acting right. Blah blah blah. I do alright for myself when it comes to the ladies so no hating here. However, I just felt like it was excessive. You could tell B frequents this spot because she was all over this one waitress. The waitress was mad surprise there considering how B has been acting all night. They order their food and I opt for a beer since I had already eaten. Food comes out and waitress informs us that she is closing us out because it's time for her to get off.

We pay our respective tabs and continue watching the game and chillin. By now, I'm side-eying everything B is saying. I occupy my time by tweeting ( Everyone has finished eating and put their plates to the side. All night I saw barbacks/bus boys clearing off tables so it would only be a matter of time before they made it to our table. B has something against our new waitress so every time the chick passed by all you hear is "ay baby/boo come get these plates" or she would pick up the plates and push them towards the waitress. *facepalm again*

I whisper to my homie that I am out. I couldn't take a minute more of this chick and I'm inches away from telling her about herself. I'm not saying all studs are ignorant, that's not my point. However, this one was and it gave me another episode to reference back upon. I just hate how these studs feel like they have to be so extra. So many of them are warped caricatures of dudes. I loathe that because of how I dress I get lumped into that label. Meh. Peace.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Twas the Night Before Christmas......

It's amazing how fast time flies. I promise it feels like my birthday was last week. Still trying to wrap my head around it being Christmas Eve. Anywho, time keeps on ticking. I'm far from a holiday type person but I figured I'd churn out a blog anyway. Yes, that sound you hear is my my Whoheart growing.

I decided that I will be less of a Scrooge this year. Instead of booing and hissing the mere mention of Christmas, I will simply say "meh". LOL. In all seriousness, I wish everyone a blessed Christmas. Let us be thankful for the Gift.....which is Jesus Christ. God gave us the ultimate gift and we should be appreciative. However, there is no shame in eating, drinking, and being know all that jazz. The holidays are for being around the people that love us and fellowship. So even if it's just for one day.....pick up the phone and reach out and show some love.

In short, I wish everyone all the joy your heart can stand. I pray that everyone doesn't get so wrapped up in getting what they want that they forget to want what they have. I said that to say this......MERRY CHRISTMAS! I miss you Mommy and I love you. Peace.

Monday, December 21, 2009

WTF Chronicles Volume 2: It's Like That?

For the last few weeks or so, my homie has been dating this chick. In typical lezzie fashion, they are head over heels in love. She brought the chick over to my house a couple weeks ago so that I could meet her. I thought the chick was nice and cool, that's it. We all sat around and chit chatted for a minute. The chick ends up telling me how shocked she is that I'm single and how she should hook me up because someone like me "shouldn't go to waste".

Fast forward to yesterday, my homie asks do I wanna go to out for a late lunch and to the mall with them. Since I was already out in that area for church, I decided that I would go. We're at dinner having a good time. Everything is copacetic from what I can tell. Move on to the mall, everything is still going chill. As we're getting ready to leave the mall, my homie says she wants to go look at some shoes. Her girl is like cool, I'm gonna go sit down. I had already started towards the chairs.

The chick and I are just sitting there. My homie is view browsing the shoes. A few minutes pass and I no longer see the homie. Some more time elapses. The chick calls my homie and the homie says she went to another department and she'll be back in a minute. I decide to ask the chick about a situation that has been going on. 1. to make conversation and 2. because I really wanted another opinion. So we're chit chatting for a while still no return of the homie. The chick is like let's go see if we can find her. We ended up locating my homie but you can tell that the homie's whole demeanor had changed. I kinda shrugged it off because we had been at the mall for a minute, so I figured she may have just been spent.

We finally leave the mall and get my to my homie's spot. I had to go inside to get some stuff I had put in the fridge. Still nothing but silence from the homie. I grab myself and head towards the door. Nothing. Before I open the door I ask her is she cool. She says I'm good. Usually we dap up or something...nothing. I say peace. She's like bye. And that's it.

Let me go on record saying I have no interest in my homie's girlfriend. The chick is nice but that's it. Yeah, I'm hella charming. Not tooting my own's true. Yeah, I've dug on chicks who had mates. It happens. One thing I've never done is go after a homie's girl or even someone by homie may be crushin' on. There's a code and I respect that code.

Why must lezzies be so insecure? Why do they feel so threatened? I'm a heck of a catch, but if you girl says she's into you, until she does something to show you otherwise, why not accept her word? If your homie has never snaked you before, why would you think she would start now? I just don't get it. I guess it's like that. *shrugs* Peace.

Monday, December 14, 2009

The WTF Chronicles Volume 1

Personally, I think my life is pretty dull. I work. I hang out. I relax. Seems pretty routine right? After talking with my homie, I've come to realize that my life isn't as dull as I would like it to be. She tossed around an idea for a series of blogs. So here it first installment of the WTF Chronicles.

Let's start with a backstory so that this episode will make sense. People who know me in real life already are in the loop about this; however, I have readers who only know me as words. The uber condensed version. Girl meets girl. Girl becomes best friends with girl. Girl becomes more than friends with girl. Girl finds out girl wants to be friends again. Girl tries to be friends with girl. Girl ends up being girl's "girlfriend". Girl gets the boot from girl. You following? LOL.

Last week I get an email from, umm let's call her C. C and I haven't spoken in months. C's purpose for emailing me is that her parents want my mailing address. That's cool. I reply with a simple I hope all is well and my address. Nothing extra. Back in the day I woulda gotten my Keith Sweat on and begged her until the sun went down and came back up again. Thank God for deliverance. I'm thinking that's it, mission accomplished until yesterday when the phone rang.

I kinda sorta recognized the phone number. Lo and behold, it's C's mother. We chat it up for a minute and exchange pleasantries. "I was calling to get your address. I want to send you a Christmas card". I guffaw to myself because C claimed her parents wanted my address. If I give you my address in an email, you can A. forward the email or 2. tell it to your mom when you talk to her. I gladly oblige thinking that would end the convo. I like C's mom, really like her and I feel the feeling is mutual. She goes on about how she hates I didn't get a chance to visit her during Thanksgiving. She tells me how she's been asking C about me and asking why doesn't she ever hear me in the background when she talks to C.

By now I'm starting to get uncomfortable because I don't want to lie to her. She goes on to tell me about stuff that I have no clue how C would know unless she's been pumping her bro for information. Again, I guffaw. Finally, I tell her that C and I don't really talk because we had a differing of opinions that led to a disagreement. C's mom is kinda taken aback by what I said. She tells me how much she hates that and how stubborn C can be. I find out that C's mom isn't fond of her new "friend"; she even had trouble remembering the girls name. Again, I guffawed.

She lets me know how I can always call her or when in town I can come and stay as long as I like. She also tells me that she knows C will come around and we can be cool again. For a woman who is far from joining PFLAG, I felt that if C would sack up and come out to her mother, C's life would be better for it. However, that is a journey that C must embark on when she is ready.

The mom goes on to tell me she loves me and to keep in touch. I got off the phone feeling like that ex that your mom likes so much but you don't feel the same way. The woman was clearly hurt about this whole situation. It makes me want to try harder to reach out to C, but I won't. I've done all I can to get through to C. At this point, any reconciliation will require effort on her part.......not mine.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

The Great Ghey Witch Hunt

Compared to other places in the world, American gheys have it pretty easy. They bellyache about not being able to get married. However, for the most part you can practice your homosexuality without being trifled with. Not the case in some countries, especially certain African and Middle Eastern ones.

Not sure if you have been keeping up with what's going on in Uganda. Just in case you haven't, I'll breeze over it really quickly. The Ugandan parliament has a bill on the table that impose the death penalty for "active" homosexuals who have HIV. Also, friends and family of gays could be imprisoned for not reporting their gay friends/family to authorities. Heck, you don't even have to be friends with a gay person. They find out you rented an apartment to a gay......Go To Jail Do Not Collect $200.

I like how the bill is supposed to be a HIV/AIDS bill, but all the quotes are about gays. We all know about teh turrible gheys here in the US that want nothing more than to recruit young children into their lifestyle. I think they're opening a Gay Recruitment center right next to the Army Recruitment Center, Starbucks, and the Adult Video store. The Ugandan government may as well just come out(no pun intended) with the truth and say "hey, we wanna kill anyone who is gay.....especially males". Don't put it under the guise of you're trying to protect the public.

This is wrong on so many levels. Let's just take out the whole yanno Human Rights issue for a second. You can prove someone has HIV with scientific tests....How can you prove someone is gay without visual/audio evidence? You could ask me am I gay but all I have to do is say no. Are they gonna have a panel of gay experts and/or "ex-homosexuals" to judge you? I can see the panel now "so umm Mr. do you feel about Beyonce, Janet Jackson, and Cher?" C'mon really?

If this bill passes, I can see it eventually turning out like the Salem Witch Hunts. We all know how good that went right? I can see Ugandan police being tied up with countless of claims of homosexuality. A woman side eyes you at the market? Call the cops up and tell them she has a picture of Ellen on her wall. Watch as the woman is dragged from her home and humiliated. The guy at the bus stop didn't apologize for stepping on your foot. Call up the laws and say you saw a man enjoying a banana a little too much. That will fix him.

I find it funny (faux paux not haha) that a country that has other problems to deal with is wasting so much time, MONEY, and energy on such a a bill. I like how homosexuality is one of the biggest political distractions. "Oh noes! The economy is in the tank! What do we do? I know. Let's pick on the gheys and get everyone riled up and not thinking about our REAL problems!" I really wish people would smarten up and realize this trick when they see it. Peace.

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Monday, December 7, 2009

You've Died In My Heart

I haven't really had much to blog about as of late (read: unmotivated). I was browsing the Myspace page and came across one of my old blogs. This joint was mad painful to write and it's actually kinda hard to read. However, I decided I would share it with the world. Peace.

I can open my eyes and not want you laying next to me. A while back I couldn't do that.
You can touch me and I don't feel shit. A while back I couldn't do that.
You walk into the room wearing your baddest outfit and all I can think about is did I turn my oven off. A while back I couldn't do that.
I can't even shed a tear for you and nor do I want to. A while back I couldn't do that.

I can see your mouth moving but I hear nothing. A while back I couldn't do that.
You could send me a million texts and I would wish the cell phone tower would fall. A while back I couldn't do that.
You could promise me the world and all I would want is for you not to be in it. A while back I couldn't do that.
I used to love getting lost in your eyes but now I want them looking in another direction. A while back I couldn't do that.

I'm not saying that I'm perfect for you. A while back I couldn't do that.
I'm not saying that I want to build with you. A while back I couldn't do that.

You've died in my go ahead and live in her arms.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

You're In What?

A homie of mine has been dating this chick for about a week now. In this short 7 day span, I love you has already been said. I scratched my head completely dumbfounded. A lot of things can be accomplished in 7 days (the Earth for one even though technically God handled that in 6), but falling in love? Miss me with that one.

By no means am I hating, if she likes it I love it. Conventional wisdom tells us that it not possible to have that strong of feelings for someone that we haven't known long. Is conventional wisdom right? Is there a certain amount of time that has to pass in order for love to be "valid"? People lie and misrepresent themselves all day long. I'm sure somewhere there a woman who just found out her dude has a family on the side and he used to be a woman.

Personally, I just don't see it happening. I don't care how much time you spend in those 168's just not plausible. You may love being around that person but I highly doubt you love that person. What is it with lezzies that make them fall so hard so fast? Quite a few times I've been told I move slow. Damn right. If you can't get with it, then kick rocks. Too many chicks out there running on pure emotion. No logic. No foundation. No understanding of themselves or the person they're with.

Love can be a drug to some. You ever wonder how an addict stays addicted? They chase that initial high. They want that feeling again. They smoke, snort, inject, pop, thinking they're gonna feel what they felt that first time. That's what I think some of these chicks do. They chase that feeling of euphoria. They always want to feel those butterflies and fireworks. And the minute they don't feel those things to the next drug. I'm not saying that in a healthy relationship you don't light up at the sight of your mate or you can't hear music everytime they kiss you.

I used to wonder sometimes why my friends kept a chick. I saw them date woman after woman. They didn't have to spit any game. Seemed like a woman would just fall in their laps. I would call and they wouldn't answer or would be distracted waiting on their girl to call. I would hear about wonderful dates and spooning and all that other stuff. A friend of mine told me it was because they are/date average chicks. Doesn't take much to land an average chick. They come. They go. Bad apples fall. Good apples have to be picked. Peace.