Thursday, August 13, 2009

Sure It Was a Movie but Really What Do Women Want?

The question in my title has spanned thousands of years. The cavemen probably pondered about it. The Persians probably wondered about it. Even the Qin dynasty couldn't figure it out. In 2009, anyone who dates women is shrugging their shoulders. I'm a female and couldn't tell you what women want in a mate. You may have one eyebrow raised over what I just said. When I say women, I am talking about "average" woman which probably makes up around 97% of all women. I believe I am in the 3% who actually knows what she is looking for in a mate/relationship. Before you get all up in arms, this will not be a woman bashing entry. Just observations and information from myself and other people I have talked to.

Women want someone who is honest. Mostly false. You can be Honest Abe if the cashier gives you too much change back. You cannot be honest if she asks you why you don't want to move in with her. You tell a chick you can't move in with her because she's irresponsible with money, she's gonna flip out. You were being mean and were clearly out to hurt her feelings. Apologize the minute you get home.......do not pass Go do not collect $200. A woman asks you what are you thinking and you answer "I'm thinking about the 1st round draft pick of the Titans and what his stats will be for the season"........if you live together go to the spare room, if you don't go home. The correct answer for future reference is something related to her, but not any faults of hers.

Women want equality. Nope. Women want equality when it is beneficial to them. Better way to put it they want to be on the pedestal but considered equal. Give her equal pay but if she hears a bump in the night.......she want you to go downstairs. Umm, that gunshot may not be equal dear. Why can't you go? I mean someone should lock themselves (meaning me) in the room while you go downstairs and take a look. How about you kill that spider for a change?

Women want someone who is nice. WRONG! Nice is the kiss of death with a woman. Nothing makes a woman madder than a person who does what she asks without grumbling or complaining. You do something out the kindness of your heart to put a smile on her face.....you might as well have kicked her puppy and pissed in her mother's flower bed. Women are very distrusting. Nice has been associated with sneaky. If you're nice to a woman whether you just met her, don't know her, or have been in her life for years......obviously you're trying to get into her draws. Am I saying that people like that don't exist? Not at all. If you're using nice as a gimmick then you're wack plain and simple. Also, nice is synonym of boring. And we all know women's infantile like need for excitement. In this case, excitment means drama.

Women are 9 times out of 10 confused. To a woman walking away from an argument means you do not care about her. If you stay and duke it out with her, then clearly you're fighting for her and the relationship. Women believe that if there are no (very) hard times in the relationship then ya'll must be doing something wrong. To a woman it is "unpossible" for a relationship to go smoothly. If things are going smoothly with ya'll, then it's obvious that you have another woman on the side that you are arguing with and experiencing weekly bouts of hellacious moments.

Women are known for wanting to make decisions but not wanting to make any kind of decision. Don't believe me? Go home. Call home. Ask your woman what does she wanna have for dinner to tonight. She's gonna say she doesn't know. Follow up with a suggestion. She's gonna say "eww we just had that or I don't like that". Ask her again what does she want. Her final answer "I dunno, you decide". Now if a woman can't decide on something as simple as what she wants to eat, how can she be independent? Even if a woman is truly independent, she doesn't want to be. She wants someone to make decisions for her BUT don't let her know you're making all the decisions. You do that and you're trying to control her. Turn around and let her make all the decisions. She'll accuse you of being a spineless wussy who lets their woman make all the choices. In a perfect world, there would be middle ground but we're not dealing with logical creatures here people.

Women are never satisfied.........EVER!!! No matter what you do, you could have done it better and/or differently. They will find some reason to complain or criticize. You can't please them permanently. If you're lucky, you can please them for a moment. Only for them to return with criticism from something that took place 2 weeks ago. In addition, she won't have any better suggestions. All she knows is that you didn't satisfy her. Don't hang your head. Just see Chris Rock's piece on the diamond peaknus........you'll understand.

This is only the tip of the iceberg about the folly of women. In short, women are walking contradictions. They are constantly being pulled by the polarizing forces of logic (which makes sense) and chick logic (which makes no sense). They will do stuff that will leave you scratching your head and if you're not careful.....looking at the bottom of a bottle of Johnnie Walker. The ideal solution is find a 3%er. The next to best solution is to find a woman is trying to break the shackles of the chick logic. Worst solution.......ask a woman what she wants and hang on for dear life as you go up and down and back and forth with her.

1 comment:

Trisha's Daughter said...

wow! gotta say that this is pretty interesting. so glad I got my woman from the 3% group. BRAVO for the 3%er's!!