Part of the beauty of being a lesbian is the ability to empathize with women (because I am one) and to understand where guys come from (because I date women). Last night I was having some discussions with my homie. My homie (female) isn't a sucker when it comes to dudes. I figured she knew all the tricks of the game, but I reckon last night I schooled her to the game.
I'll say it before and I'll say it again: women can be platonic friends with men regardless of the guy's attractiveness. Men can be friends with women on certain conditions: if the woman is gay (less femme the better) or the woman isn't attractive to them. I was telling my homie that whilst her friendship may be genuine and strictly platonic (I'll discuss alternatives later), dudes will be a friend, maybe even a good one; however, if you offer him the draws....he's gonna take them. No hesitation.
I think most women accumulate male friends after a failed holla because they never want to be a "bad guy". So they will continue to be nice to the dude thinking that he's over them not hooking up. Don't get it twisted, most dudes will not keep pining away after one chick. He will invest money in the "Cooch 401k plan". Keep being cool, fixing your sink, going to the movies with you all with the idea of one of these days "cashing out" aka hittin' it.
Then there are women who will use a guy under the guise of being friends. She'll monopolize all his time. Allow him to buy her things that are way out of the friend realm. Do just enough to make it seems like this kat has a chance to be with her. This friendship is only beneficial to her. Dude has a snowball's chance in hades to hit, this chick just wants her ego stroked.
You may be wondering "how does this theory work with lesbians?" Glad you asked. This is how my friends break down: 62% of my friends are women that I became friends with before I came out (strictly platonic....wouldn't dream of going there with them), 20% are women that I became friends with here in the H (strictly platonic......bonded over common interests, likeminded, etc), and then there's the last 18% (yeah we're cool and ish, but if she let ya, you bet ya).
Keeping it all the way funky, if one of the chicks in the 18% came to my door in a trenchcoat and said "let's do this", I'm not gonna be like "oh no, we're friends". [VOICE=Clay Davis from The Wire]Shhhhhhiiiiiidddddd[/VOICE] Does that make me any less of a friend? I don't think so. The ultimate goal of being friends with them isn't trying to date them/have sex/whatevy. I enjoy their friendship and think they're hella cool. I'm just sayin'.......if they're down....heck yeah I'm down. Peace.