C and I didn't have sex that night (or any night for that matter), but the bond we had got even stronger after her visit. Things were awesome and I was floating on Cloud 15. She would ask me the age old question "what are we". I would always tell her that we're just two people trying to string together as many good days as possible. I wasn't interested in anyone else at the time, so I reckon the only reason why I wouldn't commit is I'm a commitmentphobe.
The idea of being hurt by love never scared me it. I was always more petrified of feeling so intensely for another person. I was scared of actually wanting to put someone (who wasn't fam) over myself. I was spooked by wanting to spend the rest of my life with a person. C really cared about me and that scared the crap out of me.
We continued along the "string of good days" path. In my mind, things were going well. I was going to visit as much as I could. I was shocked at how much of a shine her parents took to me. Even though they adored me, if I stayed over, C and I would sleep in separate rooms. I respected them too much to be up under their roof doing whatevy.
During this whole episode, my mother had been fighting cancer. She had been doing well most of the time, but that following year she took a turn for the worse and eventually died. C and her parents were there for me throughout. They even came down for the funeral; I thought that was hella decent of them. C knew that my mom was my air so she decided to come back to Houston with me for a little while so that I wouldn't be alone. I was hurting so badly but just having her with me made things a little easier to cope with. Time rolled around for her to leave. I remember walking her to security at the airport and just holding her. She's a good seven inches shorter than me, so I was resting my head on her head. I was tearing up but I knew that I would see her again since I was going to her graduation in a month. I knew that visit would be the time to ask her to be my girlfriend.
Three weeks later, C calls me up. We're chit chatting like usual until an eerie silence comes over her. "What's wrong" I ask. She takes a deep breath and straight up Gap Bands me........"I just want us to be friends again". #needlescratch #ruhroh I know I had been hella distant and difficult to deal with during that time, but heck my mom just died cut a sista some slack. She wasn't trying to hear that. She apologized for having such crappy timing, but she thinks its for the best. Her last words "are you still coming to my graduation?" What I wanted to say: "bish, you can matriculate deez nuts" What I actually said "whatever" *click*
I did in fact go to her graduation. I managed to put on a happy face for her family. I was gonna leave and go anywhere but near her until her family invited me to dinner. I'm moping hella hard walking inside, she comes beside me and asks me could I cheer up at least thru dinner. That is the first time I'd ever wanted to give her the Peoples' Elbow.
That night, she suggests we go to hang out and meet up with some of her friends. I'm thinking okay maybe she came to her senses and we'll get back to where we were. I get to the restaurant and who do I see? Her ex-girlfriend. That's the first time I ever wanted to give her a Stone Cold Stunner. You coulda sold me for a nickel when I saw them in that restaurant. The girl hates me so you know she was doing real extra at dinner. I played it cool and just chatted up the ex's friend. I noticed C and the chick getting into it on the low. They're lezzies so I know they'll be cool by the next round of drinks. I was right. Somehow all 4 of us ended up just strolling around downtown. The ex's homie and I in front and C and her girl behind us playing kissy face. That was the first time I ever wanted to piledrive C.
Once I got back to Houston, I avoided C. I didn't take her calls, her emails, nothing. One day I checked my voicemail and I heard this: "Hey, I got the job. Does the offer of me coming to stay with you still stand?" #facepalm #lesigh She was right, I did say that she could crash for a while if she landed a gig. I should have just said that offer was rescinded and told her to go screw herself. Against my better judgement, I told her to come on. I was faced with a choice. I could either pout and mope or I could use this as a chance to win her back. I chose the latter.
The first couple weeks of her staying with me were awkward. She slept on the couch. I would be in my room or playing Madden most days. I lived in a quasi studio, the bedroom was closed off, but there was no door leading into it. I would hear her talking on the phone to her girlfriend. That was the first time I wanted to roundhouse kick her. As with all lezzie relationships, they broke up after C found out the girl had been cheating on her....alot. #muttleysnicker That night, she was beside herself and ended up falling asleep in the bed with me. I shoulda carried her arse right back to the couch.
After that, we started our whatevering again. Sleeping in the same bed, playing house, basically being very unfriendly. Eureka! My plan worked, I got her back. #georgejeffersons WRONG! Again she hits me with we're just friends. Okay, screw it. You want friends?! I'll give you all the friends you can handle. I'm over you and to show you how over you I am, I'm gonna help you find someone new. I'll show that ain't nobody out there like me......
To be continued.