Last night, I was watching 500 Days of Summer (awesome movie BTW). There was a line in the movie that said the best way to get over a woman is to put her in literature. I'm around 96% over C, but maybe this blog entry will put me at 100% or at least 99.999999%. This is gonna be long as heck but I'll tell as much as I can.
Let's turn on the wayback machine. Picture it: The Hill, fall of 2000. I can honestly say I don't remember the exact day I met C. I'm sure it was sometime during the first few weeks of school. We lived in the same dorm; I figure maybe just one day we ran into each other. You would think such a tumultuous "relationship" would have had a memorable beginning. Sorry to disappoint.
What does stand out about our early days is I do remember her being the study lab all the time. The homies and I would go out and come staggering in all times of night yet every time I hit that door, I would see C. I remember one night I actually stayed in to study and I ran across her in the lab. "Man, you must have a 4.0 because you're always in here". She chuckled. We chit chatted. Nothing major.
Over the next couple years, our interactions outside of the study lab were sporadic at best. She tutored me in Calculus (never woulda got that D without her). I'd drop by her room from time to time. Every once in a while she would join my crew at dinner. I figured we'd just be two ships passing in the night.
Fast forward to fall semester of my junior year. I had moved into a campus apartment (which were turrible). I was walking from my class and I see C. We hug and make small talk about the summer. I ask her where was she staying. She tells me that it was funny that I ask because she was in overflow housing but was had to move out that day. However, she had no transpo and was having a hard time getting someone to help her move. #pullscapeout I tell her that I have some free time and I don't mind helping. She's always been stubborn type, so I had to basically put her in my car and help move her stuff. We exchanged numbers after that, but really didn't see much of each other.
*pushes the fast forward button* Now it's fall semester of senior year. Out of the blue, C calls me one day. We catch up a little bit. Come to find out she was living in the same campus apartments I was staying in the year before. I suggest I fall thru and come hang out. I was sitting on her couch reading the newspaper and saw there was a fair Fort Smith (about 40 mins away). I suggest we go. I remember us having a good time there riding rides, playing games, grubbing like heck. She was in love with this pink Yankee fitted I had. I recall her taking off my head when I leaned down to tie my shoe up. She put it on her head and looked so cute. Before that moment, I never thought about her as nothing more than a friend mainly because she was straight.
After that night, we started hanging so tough. Every free (and not so free) moment I had, I was over at her place. She would cook or we would go out to eat. I did my homework there. I did my laundry there. There was just something about her. I was drawn to her like a moth to a flame. My day would feel weird if I didn't talk to her or see her. I guess it became very obvious because all my homies would have jokes everytime they saw me. "Oh you not over at C's house" "We almost forgot what you looked like" I didn't give a crap...I was loving every minute.
Graduation came. She was headed to grad school back in her hometown. I was headed home because I wanted a break and some time to just shullbit around. C and I would talk on the phone every single day. One day we were talking and the subject of bisexuality came up. I told her that I thought bisexuals were greedy and/or confused. "So what if I told you I'm messing with a girl" #eyebrowup Now that "friend" she was always talking about made sense now. I say "well if you're happy, I'd say good for you". #schwing The chick I've had a crush on for a year or so now does in fact get down.
C and her girlfriend had a rough relationship that eventually ended. C's girl hated my guts because I knew all the secrets that she had to beg for (shoutout to Brown Sugar). She hated how close we were. Even after I moved to Houston, that chick still hated me with the white hot of a million suns. Right after they broke up, I get a phone call from C. "What if I told you I liked you" #saywhat #comeagain I tell her that she's feeling vulnerable and she just likes that I'm not her girlfriend. Looking back.....wrong choice, Joyce.
A few months later, I had a scored my first gig so I had a little change in my pocket. I decided to fly to the Rock to see her. We had such a blast. She drove me back to the airport. We're sitting in her car. I want to kiss her so bad, but I had just shot her down a few months ago. She leans in.....to turn down the radio. "I had such a good time....I missed....umm lemme get out before I miss my plane."
"Okay I tried to fight it, but I really like you. That day in your car I wanted to kiss you so badly. I wish I had kissed you. Damnit, why didn't I kiss you?" I bombarded her as soon as she answered. Looking back.....I'm glad it wasn't her moms or something. She tells me that she wishes I had kissed her but there will be other opportunities. Whew! After that, it went to straight caking. I mean the talking on the phone til 4:30 am knowing I had to be up for work at 5 am. I mean the flying to Little Rock any chance I could.
Finally, she comes to visit me here in Houston. I was like a kid at Christmas. My face lit up when I saw her. I picked her up and spun her around.....giddy like a mofo. That day after we got back from lunch, we just laid in bed all afternoon and most of the evening. We were playing around for a bit. She decides that she wants to eat some of the Godiva chocolate she got from the mall earlier. She comes back to the bed and instead of laying beside me, she climbs on top of me.
I'm looking at her trying to apologize for being so dismissal about her feelings early on. *crumple unwrap* "Yeah it's cool, don't sweat it" *crumple unwrap* She takes a piece of chocolate and puts it in my mouth. I lick the little bit of melted chocolate from her fingers. She pulls her hair back then leans down to kiss me. Now, she had been playing and joking all day so right when she reaches my face..."I don't think I'm ready for this" Her jaw dropped and it got so quiet you could hear a mouse pissing on cotton. "I'm so sorry....OMG I'm so sorry" On the inside, I'm cracking up laughing. She was getting ready to get off me and I pull her back down. I let her know that I'm just playing and I had been waiting for this moment for a long time. She kissed me and I felt sparks fly through my body. It was electric. I wanted to kiss her all night long.
For once in my life, I wanted to suspend time. I wanted to lay there with her forever and just get lost in her eyes. This felt right......to be continued.