Sunday, November 8, 2009

It's Real in the Field

There are a lot of things I wouldn't wish on even my worst enemy. Loss of a loved one, dehabilitating disease, financial ruin,.....and having to date. Dating is one of the worst things out there. It sucks to no end but unless you plan on being single or getting a mail order bride, you gotta suck it up and yuck it up.

Last night, against my better judgment, I went out on a date. Bummer 0.5: well I really won't call this a total bummer because chicks are known for the angle pictures. She ended up being a little chunkier than what her pics suggested. Not gonna trip, she wasn't a beached whale or anything. Bummer 1: she lied about her age. I prefer to date chicks my age to around 4 or 5 years older than me. At "24" she was already too young for me and at 22....definitely too young for me. I know the person I was at 22 versus who I am at 27. Still trying to feel your way thru life, going to school, idealistic, not completely sure of who you are. At 22, all that is acceptable.

I managed to fight sleep and managed to chit and chat. The more she talked the more I realized this was going nowhere fast. However, I found her youthful exuberance refreshing. I remember before becoming jaded and cynical feeling some of the same things. On a worldly-er note, I did find myself intrigued by her nippoo piercings. I could see myself, if not married/civil unioned/whatever, at a later stage in life dating a much younger woman. You know, the whole mid life crisis thing.

After I got home, I laid down for a while and really reflected for a minute. Why can't I find a woman that I dig and the feeling is mutual? Is it me? Have a set a bar so high that no one could reach it? Is there anything wrong with that? Am I gunshy now after a bad experience? Why is this dating thing so difficult? I really don't think I'm asking for too much. I ask nothing of a woman that I am not myself.

Don't get me twisted, by no means am I pressed. I don't consider my life a failure because I'm single. I enjoy my life and it's only getting better. However, there is no shame in wanting someone to share my life with. No need to feel guilty or needy for wanting romantic companionship. I sincerely believe this is an area where I have matured. For the longest I believed that desiring companionship was a sign of weakness. It meant that you weren't strong enough to face life alone. Glad to see how wrong I was about that one.

Long story short, dating is hard. It befuddles me how some people let it consume their lives. They buy the books, go to the seminars, go on date after date after date, the whole nine. Maybe its because they are looking for someone to complete them. Not I said the cat. I was whole when you met me and I'll be same way if you left me. Until that woman comes along, I'll keep doing what I've been doing.....working on self and enjoying life.

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