Thursday, April 29, 2010

Look Up in the Sky.....Is It a Bird? Is It a Plane?

There has been countless songs, lyrics, quips, and jokes about Captain Save A Ho. We all know one, heck we may be one. For you less worldly readers out there, lemme school on who CSAH is. There are 3 types of CSAH, they are NOT mutually exclusive.

1. The I'll Pay for Everything CSAH - This is the guy/chick who will pay for getting nails done, hair done, cars washed, cell phone bills, movies, dinner, mama's light bill, Aunt Jackie's casino money, etc. This guy/chick believes that the quickest way to a woman's heart is thru his/her wallet/pocketbook. No expense is spared with this CSAH. They don't care if their own lights are off, as long as the object of their affection is dipped out and draped up in the latest fashion and accessories.

2. The I Can Change Her CSAH - This poor schmuck gets tied up with the neighborhood chickenhead and/or beatpiece. The whole hood knows the brawd is no good, but CSAH loves her anyway. He/she will ignore any evidence of their beloved being anything but a classy lady. You can bring the CSAH video evidence of their girl being skank. They will swear up and down that the tape is fake. They will even comment on how far Hollywood special effects have come. This CSAH wants to be the one to change their girl from her wicked ways. The only person who can save a skank from being a skank is God.

3. The Tresvanty CSAH - In 1990, a young man by the name of Ralph Tresvant released a song called "Sensitivity". The song is about some schmuck who was in love with a chick who was being dogged out by her man. He's telling her how she needs someone who wipe away her tears, kiss away the pain, make balloon animals, so on and so forth. The Tresvanty is the CSAH who thinks that chivalry and nobility is the way to get (keep) the woman. This CSAH will sit up to 4 am listening to a chick whine about her life knowing good and well he/she has to be up for work at 5. This CSAH will cancel their kickin it plans because the chick wants to come over and watch Lifetime Movie Network. This CSAH will let the chick have his/her bed because they don't want the chick to feel uncomfortable. Basically, this CSAH's fatal flaw is they are too available for the chick.

In the spirit of keeping it honest, I am a recovering Tresvanty Captain Save a Ho. I am learning that whilst there is nothing wrong with being a nice woman, too much of anything is bad. I am learning the difference between being there for a chick and being at her beck and call. I realized that a woman cannot respect a puddle at her feet.

To all you CSAHs, it's a problem. You have to find out what's going on with you that makes you act that way. Yeah the chick is foul for taking up all your money, time, and attention. However, it comes a point in time where the blame shifts to you. Own it, find it, and fix it. Peace.


Ty said...

Love your P.S.A posts.

LaconicIcon said...

Thanks. Always trying to spread a little insight.