Monday, April 12, 2010

Do You Want a Mate or a Robot?

Instead of going with my first mind to watch Treme, I ended up on VH1. I didn't catch Basketball Wives and from what I heard, I dodged one there. I did, however, peep What Chilli Wants. I really wish I could get my 21 minutes back.

It's one thing to have high standards. It's totally different to have stupid and unrealistic standards. I'm picky as all get out, but even I know there are some thing I will end up compromising on with a potential mate. Anywho, I digress.

My first real gripe is who the heck is this Tianna chick and how did she become an expert? I recall them saying she wrote a book, but I have never heard of it. Maybe it's because I don't really read those kind of books. #shrug I'm not knocking this chick's hustle, I mean if someone is gonna pay me and give me tv exposure, why wouldn't I do the show? All I do know is that her accent is thick and annoying as heck.

On to Chilli's list, I don't remember everything on it but these stuck out in my mind:
* Can't eat pork - What the heck? I don't eat pork, but I wouldn't pass up a great chick because she likes a little bacon on her plate. I'd rather she didn't eat pork, but that's not a dealbreaker. I was tripping because Chilli had it so far up on her list. Out of all the things you need a mate, you go with their diet?

* Doesn't drink - No one wants a lush (at least I hope not). Social drinking is okay in my opinion. If someone isn't getting wasted 24/7, what the problem is? I can think of worse things people do than a little taste every once in a while. I woulda went with "no hard drugs" but that's just me.

*Gotta be "packin" - When I heard that, I was like "wow, really? c'mon shorty". Ghey or not, all women know that just because a dude is packin' doesn't mean he can slang it. She made herself look really birdlike with that one.

I think I'm gonna start a drinking game with this show. Everytime Chilli says she needs a dude with more "swag", I'm gonna take a shot. I've learned that swag is the chickenhead mating call. What the heck is swag? Everytime I ask a chick what that means, I get some evasive, vague answer. That's because chicks like Chilli want an illusion for a mate, not a real person.

I already know how this show is gonna end. She's gonna meet a "nice guy" but because he doesn't have enough "swag" she'll end up alone. When will these women ever learn?

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