Over the last few days, C and I have been communicating via IM. No fussing, no fighting, just regular convo we would have had over a year ago. Really haven't missed a beat. While it's been good chit chatting with her, I still stay guarded. A good buddy of mine really broke it down to me. She was telling me how much of a change she's seen in me over the past year. How I've been really branching out and doing my thing. She says she doesn't believe C is a bad person, but she does believe that C and I are in different places in life right now. "It's easier to get pulled down to someone else's level than it is to pull them up to yours".
Those words have resonated with me all week. I know that I'm on another plane right now. Yeah there's more solitude now, but it's peaceful. I'm really enjoying life. I honestly feel like I'm on the path to making all my dreams come true. My focus is high and I refuse to let anyone or anything distract me.
Anywho, fast forward to yesterday afternoon. I receive a text from C asking could she ask me a question. I respond by saying that's cool. Instead of texting back, she calls. Said it's easier to just call than text. Her question was about disputing an item on her credit report. Don't get me wrong, it was good hearing her voice; however, I was scratching my head. It was 4pm on a Saturday, there was really nothing she could do concerning her case. Also, we had been conversing over IM, it coulda waited. Lastly, she had already done almost everything I would have suggested. I held serve after we finished talking about her problem. I did my best not to let the convo segue into "what are you doing". She ends by saying that she'll probably call me soon to follow up. I suggest she just email me and I'll critique it. Convo over.
Earlier that day, her bro (whom I'm still hella cool with) and I made plans to hang out that night with a couple other friends. Time rolls around for us to hang out, he calls me saying that C is coming too. Notice that he said C was coming, not C and her girlfriend. Long story short, C was unable to come. I reckon she heard that I was gonna be there and put the brakes on it real quick like. Who knows?
If C is in the right kinda place in her life, then I wouldn't mind her being back in mine. If she's still stuck in neutral, spinning her wheels, then she can be in my life but just in a reduced capacity. I suppose only time will tell where she truly is. Peace.
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