Thursday, October 21, 2010

Can I Live? (My Prerogative in B Flat)


As I said in prior entries, the Peanut Gallery has been very vocal about C. I hope that in my talking about her, I have not painted her with a bad brush. I know we tend to tell our friends more of the bad stuff and when the bad sounds as bad as our bad well it tends to look.....bad. There are countless "good" C stories I could tell. Does she have issues? You betcha! Is she a horrible person? Not in the least bit. So you'll have to forgive me if I don't want to burn her at the stake and pour salt on her ashes.

I will not apologize for any feelings that I may feel for C in the past, now, or even in the future. Even if I decide I want to pursue something romantic with Bobby B said that's my prerogative. I know all these "pillar of strengths" who were able to ax out a person the first time they did them remotely wrong. Sorry if I'm not there yet.

I find it so hilarious when people who have cheated, been cheated on, been on again and off again, etc wanna tell me that I shouldn't even entertain the notion of being anything but acquaintances with C (hell of a run-on sentence BTW). Not hilarious in an episode of Martin way but hilarious in a LOL SMH kinda way. If you were forgiven, able to forgive, open to reconnect, why am I'm not afforded the luxury of merely THINKING about it?

"You're blocking out the right person from coming into your life" Really? How so? Am I sitting outside her window holding a boombox? Did I put a sign around my neck saying "Not interested in anyone but her"? Heck if I recall correctly, I have been saying that I am interested in dating, but I'm not gonna go out with just anyone to prove a point to everyone but ME.

Neither she nor I have made any kind of plans about a romantic reconciliation. Heck, it's not even on the menu. It may never be on the menu. And if it ends up on the menu and I want to order it, I will do so. Basically I'm putting into play what I've always known; "don't discuss something if you don't want people to comment". I'm putting a gag order on myself and continue to find the right path in all of life. Peace.


K. said...

This wasn't too bad of a rant, homes. The truth is the truth. In the end (beginning and middle), you're the one who's got to live your life and be happy with it, and none of us knows exactly what you or C are feeling or thinking.

As one of them Hot Spring girls told me once: If you like it, I love it.

LaconicIcon said...

Well said, homie. You are completely right. I will continue doing what I feel is right and see where it leads me. If I bump my head, so be it.

There are maybe 2 people who know C and I well enough to "qualified" to give in-depth commentary on the situation. I'm not looking for yes-(wo)men, but people who will respect any feelings I may have about C. Maybe I'm expecting too much. #shrug

shynesobright said...

Imma go throwback.. Remember that Jon B song? "dont listen to what people say. They don't know about you and me." In this case C. You do what your heart tells you. Damn folks opinions!