Monday, September 28, 2009

I Put On For My State

I hail from the great state of Arkansas. Formerly known as the Land of Opportunity, smarter heads prevailed and decided to go with a more suitable name.......The Natural State. People tend to be shocked when I tell them that I am from Arkansas......yes people articulate, witty, cool Arkansans do exist. I feel that it is my duty to tell you great people about my state.

Founded: June 15, 1836
Capitol: Little Rock
Area codes: 479, 501, 870 (chea!)
Population: 2.7 million
Largest cities: Little Rock, Fayetteville (WPS), Jonesboro, Pine Bluff, Hot Springs
Motto: Regnat populus translated The People Rule
Counties: 75
State bird: Mockingbird
State flower: Apple blossom
Notable residents: Former President Bill Clinton, Sam Walton, Maya Angelou, the Right Reverend Al Green, Ne-Yo, and I cannot forget the incomparable Conway Twitty

Now, what I listed above are a few facts about Arkansas. Allow me to dispel some rumors and myths about my state and its natives:

Myth #1 - We don't have indoor plumbing. I'm sure that somewhere in the backwoods of the Ozark mountains, there is some family still using an outhouse. However, 99.9% of our residents do not have to leave the house to take a piss. Thats not to say you won't find someone taking a piss down on Dickson St on the Hill.

Myth #2 - The KKK has a stronghold on the state. Arkansas is chocked full of racists. My hometown is one of the most segregated places on Earth. Even with all that said, I have never seen a cross burning in my life. Actually I prefer the racists in Arkansas, they are blatant, loud, and powerless. I could care less about being called a "coon" by some trailer park living unemployed douchebag. I do care about the banker in the Armani suit who won't approve my mortgage application.

Myth #3 - Arkansas is behind on the times fashion wise. I'll be the first to admit I still know some folks who rock jheri curls.......faithfully. I'm not saying Arkansas is on Milan's level but there are some very stylish people in the Natty state. Sorry to report that we are not wearing Cross Colours and Exhaust jeans in 2009. I was rocking my Timbs right along with Nas and had my goggles cocked to the side just like the M-E-T-H-O-D Man.

Myth #4 - Arkansans are toothless hillbillies who participate in incestous relationships. First of all I want to say that incest is sick no matter where it takes place. I've seen a lot of gold teeth in Arkansas but not a lot of toothless people. I've never eaten roadkill or had a goat sleep in my house........thanks Beverly Hillsbillies.

In short, I know that a blog can't change your mind if you're hellbent on thinking certain people are a certain way. If I had a dollar for everytime someone told me "you don't act/talk like you're from Arkansas", I'd be a rich woman. If you're out today and you see a car with Arkansas plates on it.......honk and give that person the thumbs up. LOL okay that was too much........just go to Wal-mart and buy something.........some Tyson chicken perhaps? Peace.

2 comments:

Trisha's Daughter said...

This is funny....tell it like it is

Mocitypretty said...

You and your people are hillbillies...Texas is a state of learn-ed doctors!