I am very fortunate to have such a small circle of friends. My friends are more than just friends. They are pretty trusted advisers. I really take what they say to heart because 10 times out of 9, they're giving me good advice. I also appreciate the fact they are not yes (wo)men.
Everyone should have friends who can tell them "no, don't do that" or "you're trippin' with no luggage". In life we need checks and balances. The right friends can be that for you. I just think back on all the stupid things (in retrospect) that a friend or friends checked me on.
For the most part, I'm not talking about simple stuff like them telling me that polka dots and plaid really don't match. I'm talking about decisions that could affect my life to this day. I don't ever recall any of them telling me what to do. That's not checks and balances, that's control. They have given me that smack to the face to bring me back to reality. They have placed that coffee right below my nostrils to get me to wake up.
I think back on some of the things people have told me and I wonder am I the lone voice of reason in your life. If my girlfriend socked me in my nose and I called 3 friends, all three would say the same thing "why are you still there?". They may would ask me what happened later but the recurring theme would be snap out of it, get your bag and go.
I'm not saying that I'm a mindless drone. Friends have the luxury of not being in the frame so they are able to see the picture. Meaning they can see above the haze I was in. My heart probably thought they were being unreasonable but my head knew they were looking out for me. I liken it to drowning. If I'm drowning, I would like for my friends to throw me a life line, not just sit there and say "Girl hang in there, I was in a similar situation once. I just kept flailing and eventually I got comfortable with the fact I was drowning. Still drowning to this day but I'm hanging in there".
Please don't take it as me saying get yourself a bunch of Debbie Downers. Not at all. Surround yourself with people who hold you up to same high standards that you hopefully hold yourself to. If you have high standards and good friends, even if you slip every once and a while, they'll help get you back on the level you're supposed to be. Peace.