I had a blog all planned out. A nice, sweet one about changes and dates and all that cute stuff. I'll post it sometime, but today I really need to blog about endurance.
Right now, I'm in a very rough patch in a major part of my life. It is to the point where I truly believe it's affecting my mental being. It's hard to really enjoy other stuff because this issue drains me so. It takes everything in me sometimes to get through this without truly spazzing out. My homies know that this is giving me grief but I don't think they get the extent of it. Bad is probably an understatement. I usually say little about it because people are quick to say that you're being a brat or ungrateful.
This isn't a woe is me blog. I know in life we all have trials and tribulations. We all have to endure at some point in time. I just wonder sometimes how much longer can I endure. I wonder is God listening to me or does he just hear me. I've prayed to ask Him to show me is there anything that I'm doing that is keeping Him from helping me in this situation.
Never been the type to try and scorekeep or bargain with God. "Well God, you do know that I go to church every Sunday. I tithe. I study your Word. C'mon hook a sista up!" or "Okay God, if you do this for me, I'll do this for you". Nah, not me. First, I know enough about God to know that there is nothing I can barter with God. There is nothing I can give or do that is an even exchange for his grace and mercy. Heck, grace is unmerited favor. Meaning we don't deserve His favor but because He loves us so, he bestows it upon us.
Each moment, the goal is to give God the glory and endure. There is a reason why I have not heard back from God about this issue. Also, just because I don't see Him working doesn't mean the work is not going on. Whenever I feel like I wanna to just throw my towel in, I have to keep enduring. There is a lesson in all of this. I know there will be a time soon where I look back at all of this and praise Him even harder because this will just be another thing I've conquered.
I'm sure there are plenty of others not only going through this, but a plethora of other things. My message to you is "hold on, keep going". God may seem far away or unconcerned, but believe that He is right there and He doesn't want to see you hurt. If you feel like giving up, giving in, my message to you is "hold on, keep going". He's working it out for you.
Romans 5:3-4 says "More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope" Hold on, keep going. Peace.