I miss you. I really really miss you. I miss you so much that sometimes I forget to miss you. Maybe it's because missing you is ingrained in me now. I find myself getting upset at myself when I forget to miss you. Because if I forget to miss you, then surely I have forgotten about you, right?
Time doesn't heal wounds. Time makes you numb to the fact that you are wounded. At first I had to accept you're gone, now I'm learning to accept you're free. As much as I wish you were still here, I'd rather you be safe in His Arms than suffering in your bed.
It doesn't seem like it's been 4 years. It feels like 4 lifetimes. Some days, it feels like you were never here. I feel like you're someone I made up in my head. An imaginary friend if you will. How could that be? I have memories in my heart, I have pictures in my hand, I have stories that you shared. I have tangible proof that you indeed existed, but where are you?
Other days, I feel as if you never left. I feel your presence all around me. I look in the mirror and even though we didn't look alike, I see you looking back at me. I'm surrounded by all the prayers you prayed for me. I hear all the encouraging words you spoke to me. I can even hear you scolding me when I do something that is not right. I feel your strength flowing through my veins. Your wise words willingly roll off my tongue.
I miss you, but I know I have work to complete here. You live because I live. You won't ever be forgotten because I won't ever forget you. So keep resting and I'll keep working. One of these days, we'll meet again and I won't ever have to let you go. Peace.