100th Blog Entry Extravagnza b/w Confusion Abound

I was just going to blog to get some words on the page. I realized that this entry would be number 100. Hooray for me! We've laughed, we've cried, we've shook our heads. Here's to many more hundreds of entries. Cheers!

Methinks I may be confused about what I want to do relationship wise. A very good question was brought up to me last night: do you want a girlfriend or a partner? Can I have something in the middle? I think that would be very nice.

I know I want something, but I guess the seriousness of it would be determined by the caliber of woman I meet. I don't go looking for birds or anything. However, sometimes they manage to slip through the cracks.

I'm trying to be more open minded about things but this is hard. I'm trying to be more interested in women deeper than a surface level. I'm really giving a concerted effort and man it's more difficult than I thought it would be. Not as simple as turning off a light switch. The journey of a 1000 miles begins with a single step......I'll keep hanging in there.

Freestyle Friday: Monday Edition

My blogging has taken a hit because of unexpected blockage at work. However, the show must go on. Ya'll know the drill: off the top, unabashed and unedited.

* After being pulled in 23973 directions last week, I feel like things are starting to slow down. I've very happy about this because I'm not sure how much more my body could have taken.

* I'm really praying and believing that my laptop is recovered in good shape. There are so many pictures, songs, movies (#hehe) on there that I really would like back. If you're the praying type, throw some up for me.

* I'm still being a wussy about something in my life. I shoulda pissed a long time ago but here I still sit on the toilet. I've decided that next chance I get.....I'm just gonna do it. Nothing ventured, nothing gained eh?

* I really enjoy hanging out with the homies on Thursdays. It's really dope to have friends who are like minded and cool. Sidenote: if you're ever in Houston go to the Front Porch Pub and have some frozen screwdrivers.

* I really don't want to believe that C could have been behind all of this. I've left her alone, no need for her to come at me like that. If it is found out she knew anything about this....in the words of my homie Steph..."she gonna get fucked off".

* Got some good opportunities popping up. Even more exciting than the ones in the past. Gonna put out good vibes and stay prayerful.

Lady Tries Not To Sing the Blues

To say the last few days have been stressful would be putting it mildly. There were a lot more downs than there were ups. If the last few days were a meal, I'd send it back and run away screaming from that restaurant.

I think for the most part I have been able to hold it together. However, even the strongest of us tend to have a sniffle when no one is looking. I've been trying my hardest to not stress, but even the coolest of us bug out when the lights go down.

Sometimes I dread when my phone rings because all I can think of is "oh Lord what now". I don't want to feel this way. Just seems like I can't catch a break nowadays. I know things could always be worse. But doesn't that saying kind of diminish what you're going through? Just because my house didn't burn down to the ground, does that mean I can't feel some kinda way if half of it floods?

Pray for me ya'll. Seriously. Peace.

What Gives You the Right?

Every workday, I get up at the buttcrack of dawn to head to work. My job isn't strenuous or terribly difficult. However, if I had the means I'd rather spend my days doing music and listening to beer and maybe some recreation. In the meanwhile, I go to work.

You on the other hand probably barely graduated high school or dropped out in the 10th grade. You never heard of Kenneth Cole, maybe Kenneth Supreme Griffith. You probably have never even ventured out of your neighborhood. You probably idolize Gucci Mane or some hood rapper. Heck, you probably call yourself a rapper. You probably have at least 2 different baby mamas. Only Tiffany's you've ever been in is some hood booger you met at some hole in the wall club. Only time you saw a college was on tv. You probably think college isn't for "real niggas".

I can't hate you because the God I serve only requires that I hate the sin, not the sinner. I will say that you disappoint and disgust me. However, I'm still gonna pray for you. I'll pray that you get the resolve and the drive of the people that you take from. Or at least I pray that you don't mess with the wrong person who ends up blowing your brains out.

You will be going to prison. If not for this, for something else. You'll just be another statistic. Sadly, I believe you're okay with that. God be with you. Peace.

A Sunday Night Throwback: It's Not Me....It's You

Just going through some old stuff I wrote. Thought I'd share it with the world. Wrote this piece about a year or so ago. Enjoy. Peace.

Who knew by the time I checked in you checked out
It was clear to me but now you had doubts
You wanted to leave; I wanted to stay
But hey
You can’t win them all so they say
You uttered “I want someone to complete me”
Sweetie I was whole when you met me
Through the hurt I was the same way when you left me
I bounce between infuriation and infatuation
Adulation and aggravation
I would have moved heaven and earth to woo you
Now I would do the same to get through to you

I’ll stop with the mushy stuff to make it clear
This ain’t a love poem my dear
Under that beautiful skin lays a bruised and battered soul
Behind those big brown eyes are lies ready to be told
Through those deep kisses and warm embrace
Is a person who is not ready to face
The kind of a love gives so freely
Baby you don’t know yourself so how could you read me
Or the selflessness that true love can see
You hustling backwards words don’t speak louder than actions
Took awhile but it’s no longer muddled
You’re selfish, broken, and bout deep as a puddle
You said you if I loved you love would make me free
But whilst I was loving you………..who was loving me?