If I Be Myself...You Won't Like Me Anymore

During the span of my career, I am sure I have been on hundreds of job interviews. If we throw in phone interviews, I think the number at least doubles. However, this blog entry is not about phone screens (even though they can blow).  This post can be summed up in one sentence: Interviewing is INEFFECTIVE...yeah I said it.

How many times have you worn your freshest suit, styled your hair to the tee, printed your resume on the best paper only to be subjected to the worst 20 to 60 minutes of your life? You walk into the office/conference room and are instantly met with one of the laziest openings ever. "So tell me about yourself"...you freeze, you stutter, you stammer trying to figure out can you tie in how many times you been in Twitter jail with your profiency with pivot tables?  Interviewing is ineffective....yeah I said it.

1. Most interviewers ask lazy questions. Tell me about yourself is a lazy question. First off, the interviewee isn't sure what part of their lives you want to hear about. "Well umm I like pop-tarts, beer pong, and playing Madden in my underwear. None of those skills really helped in my career as an Accountant though." Say that and you're already toast.  Some interviewers ask this question when they have not read your resume and need a little time to catch up. When you think this is the case just talk about your explosive diarrhea and how you're worried that sore on your lip could be Herpes. They will be nodding away telling you how interesting that sounds.

2. Interviews do not want honesty. What is your biggest weakness. "I have the urge to slap co-workers and I have been known to cuss a few folk out here and there. God is still working on me, but I still enjoy the 4 and 5 letter cuss words". Or "I like to do minimum work but get paid maximum dollars. Can I Facebook all day and still make 50/hr? I guess that's a weakness" I'm sorry, Miss Interviewer, I really never had any conflict with my co-workers. Honest answers are just that...honest. Should I make up a story instead? If you want to hear stories, I hear the Brothers Grimm wrote some wonderful tales.
Interviews are littered with tricks and traps to bait you. Such games lead candidates to essentially lie just to stay in the hunt.  I had a guy once comment on a local sports team about how horrible they were. I just shrugged and said maybe next year will be their year. Turned out the guy was a season ticket holder. Had I went with my mind to bash his team, I coulda been toast. See something that simple could be difference between you eating steak or you eating steak sauce on Ramen noodles.

3. Interviews are subjective.  Jane E. Awesome could have a 4.0, 5 years of experience, recommendations from Barack and Michelle Obama, not to mention Tevin Campbell but if her interviewer had a bad morning, she could be toast.  You could be hired (or not hired) based on things such as the time of day your interview is, whether or not the barista got your interviewer's latte right, or the elevator taking too long.  Heck, the interviewer could hate the color shirt you have on. I know we all have our moments, but when your bad mood can affect someone's life greatly, you really should put on your big boy draws and chill.

People come to me asking for interview advice and help. I tell folks all the time...don't lie but don't be afraid to give the truth a nudge. If you don't speak Russian, you just don't speak Russian. However, if you're just a novice in PowerPoint, it doesn't hurt to say you're proficient. Make sure you get your but on Udemy or something right after that interview.  The job hunt is a dirty dirty game, you can't fight fair. I tell people that interviews are no longer about can you do the job...they are about whether or not you "fit".  Focus on "fitting" not being a Boy/Girl Scout and you should be golden. Peace.

Bridging the Gap With My (Not So) Distant Lover

The countdown to the end of my long distance relationship has started. In just mere hours, my love will make her move to The H. I'm so stoked and excited about us being in the same city. Honestly, I never thought it would come to this. No, no, don't get it twisted. I figured I would end up moving to be with her because I don't really do new friends, so being in a new city wouldn't be so jarring to me.

I think back to when we first decided to be in a relationship. The distance never scared me. I wasn't fond of not being able to hold her after a long day or not being able to tickle her until she exploded in laughter. I didn't care for not being able to take her out for ice cream or go on a Grippo's(those BBQ chips are the TROOF)  run. Never once was I afraid of the miles between us. Truthfully, I was scared of today.

I was afraid that once Rand McNally placed us in the same grid, things wouldn't be the same. It petrified me that either one of us could say "I miss you" and not have to wait weeks till we could do anything about it. Once you take that LD out of LDR, it's a whole new ball game. Silly me, I listened to white noise and read stories of strangers on message boards. It took me a little while to tune the world out and I'm glad I did.

I realize now the distance in the beginning of our relationship built a strong foundation. In an LDR, you become excellent communicators. I can't think of a single thing we cannot talk about. I can't recall going a single day without calling, texting, tweeting, skyping. We used this time to really get to know one another. Not just simple Newlywed Game question answers but real stuff.

We were extremely fortunate to be able to see each other often (thank you buddy pass). A lot of times in LDRs, folk don't see each other often so they feel compelled to be on their best vacation behavior. We farted, had disagreements over Chex Mix, and went to run mundane errands together. We missed each other with that "New Mate Smell". We were ourselves by ourselves.

I'm ready for this next step in our relationship. No fear. No worries. I pray every night this move is successful for her. I know how smart and amazing she is. I want her new co-workers to know this. I want her new friends to know this. I want the whole metro to know this. She didn't make this move for me but I'm gonna do everything in my power to make this move pleasant for her...and US. Welcome to Houston, baby...I luh you. Peace.

Butthurt Black Bicyclist Take 1

This entry started as a joke between my girlfriend and me, but I think it may be a good idea for a series. Coupled with the fact I haven't blogged in a looooong time, it's a no-brainer.

My newest love is bicycling. For the last couple months, I've been on two wheels making it do what it do. I figured it would just be a way to get some exercise in. Never did I think I'd enjoy cycling so much. Each day, I'm thinking of new ways to get faster or to go harder. You're probably thinking to yourself "oh this is all peachy keen, where's the butthurt, LI?".

This installment is about riding gear. Any serious cyclist knows that it starts with the clothes. Spandex and lycra and all that good stuff is wonderful when you're 5'7 and 130 lbs. Looks great. However, for the stockier cyclist, these fabrics can leave you a bit self conscious. Cycling gear is form fitting, so whether a jersey is a L or 5X, it's gonna hug all your curves and swerves....DEAL WITH IT. If you can't handle a bigger person in some tight biking shorts, close your eyes.  Idiots in cars and idiots walking may or may not say something ignant to you. You keep right on chuggin' along.

What's crazy is that I've read msg boards where folk where worried about what fellow cyclists will say/think. Cyclists are notorious for being vain. They shave every string of hair off their bodies. They obsess over having the best shorts, flashiest jerseys, so on and so forth. However, cyclists are typically oblivious. Meaning, don't be afraid to let it hang while you pedal away to take off inches and possibly save your life.

My tip for self conscious riders: stay away from bright colors. Black shorts and maybe blue or green jerseys will let you blend a big. Also, if you're worried about thick thighs or just generally uncomfortable with biking shorts, you can buy baggy shorts or simply wear some basketball shorts over your tighties. Lastly, beware of chaffing...it's real! Otherwise, pedal on and watch that weight slide off. Peace.

Freestyle Friday: Spring Forward Edition

Act like you know: I ramble, you read. Ready...break!

* Been sporting this 3-0 for a couple weeks now, so far so good.

* Each day I fall more in love with my girlfriend. Some days are really hard with the distance but just hearing her voice puts this smile on my face that I can't wipe off. And don't even get me started on how much of a blessing Skype is.

* Major major big time things on the horizon for me. This will be a springboard for sure.

* Really can't clap to March Madness this year. Maybe it's the lack of upsets (so far) or maybe it's not as fun when you're not watching games at work. Football where are you?

* I have to remind myself that my other sister is ignant. I hate that I let myself get bent out of shape over some foolishness she said to me. I must realize that not everyone is as ridiculous as her.

* The story about Trayvon Martin gets to me. I read a lot of news, but this story just sticks with me. Maybe because I think of my oldest nephew who will be a teen soon. Minority life seems to have no value in the US.

* That Audi S4 is way too tough. It will be my next car. Don't like that it's not available with a V8, but I can live with a V6.

* Lately, I've gotten into The First 48. It's sad and fascinating at the same time. Sad because 99.9998 of the murders are over some really dumb stuff. Also it's always a minority victim and perp. We gotta stop the violence, for real.

* God is good. I'm so thankful where He's brought me and excited about where He's taking me.

No Collection Plate Will Be Passed Around for This One

God is amazing. Each day I'm more and more amazed at His power and wisdom. The past few months have had some really rough patches, but I'm still determined to trust Him and stand on the promises of His word.The way God operates shows that He has a sense of humor. You pray for one area of your life and he blesses you in a totally different area. God knows exactly what we need and when we need it. Even if we don't think we need it or even want it.

A few months ago, I was pretty upset. I saw people getting things they wanted and here I was praying, believing, tithing, the whole nine. Seemed like they were doing things with little effort. Then I realized that some people's journeys are less difficult because that's as good as it will get for them. Not saying that's a bad thing, but I know the things I'm believing God for aren't of the garden variety. It's easier to trust and believe God for turkey franks than it is to trust and believe for a porterhouse steak.

Each morning I have been making a sacrifice in order to be closer to God. To really yield myself to what He wants to reveal to me. Praying for discernment. Praying for the ability to tune out myself and the world and listen to Him. I can feel that I'm on the verge of some amazing things. I know that God is working out some things that just a year ago, I couldn't fathom happening for me.

My advice to you out there reading this is to trust God. Ask that His will be done in your life. Forgive all who have wronged you. Forgive yourself. Even if you can only study your Bible for 3 minutes, give God that full 3 minutes of your undivided attention. The more you seek Him, the more you will long to learn more about Him. No matter what you're going through, God hasn't forgotten about you. Stand firm. Peace.

Born Day Musings and Reflections

As I laid in bed late last night, I thought back on how when I was younger I felt 30 was so old. Then, the clock struck midnight and there I was. I waited for my hair to turn gray, a hump to form, even a slight change in my vision. Didn't happen. All I felt was gratitude and optimism.

My roaring 20s had some terrible times. I experienced some of the lowest of the lows but I never wanted to be anything other than alive. I didn't make millionaire status; however, I feel like I'm definitely on the path to making my dreams a reality. I lost my mother and while it almost crushed me, I drew upon her love and strength to pull through. I wish she could be here to see the woman that I became and the person that I am becoming.

On the flip side, there were countless numbers of beautiful and amazing things that happened to me in my 20s. I finished university on the 4 year plan. Worked for some top notch corporations. Started my own company. Welcomed more nieces and nephews into the world. Developed a new and fresher relationship with my father. Discovered the joys of single malt scotch. Saw the Knicks make the playoffs with a non sub .500 record. Fell in love. There are numerous other things, but this is a blog, not a manifesto.

So to my 30s and beyond, I welcome you with open arms. I look forward to all you have to offer. I look forward to making major strides in the ever evolving process in getting to where I want to be. I look forward to being wiser, stronger, healthier, more focused, more faithful, and any other superlative that will assist in me along the way. Cheers to my 20s, and here's to the next chapters. Peace.

Taking a Page From the Ultimate Playbook

It's amazing how good God is; I marvel at how he places people, words, etc in our paths exactly when we need it. Yesterday's word at church was "Be Encouraged". Last week was rough and overall, these last 6 months have had some less than stellar moments. God knew I needed to hear that and I'm glad I did.

Last night, I was laying in bed and a huge smile came over my face. I could hear my mother saying one of her favorite phrases..."Hallelujah Anyhow". That was my mother's go-to phrase. No matter how bad any situation she was facing was, she would always lift up her hands and say hallelujah anyhow. I knew at that moment that all is going to be more than well. If my mother, while her body was being eaten by cancer, could still find the wherewithal to praise Him anyhow , surely I can do the same in less dire straits.

My mother prayed and prayed and prayed some more. She had faith for things that she will never physically see. Even if I never prayed in my life, I'd be living off the prayers my mother prayed. The way she prayed, my children will be living off the prayers their grandmother prayed. We got reserves like the 10th man off the bench.

After that epiphany, I'm fully adopting my mother's mantra. I know it won't be easy because that level of faith and trust takes discipline. Shoot, we can't praise Him when we stub our toe sometimes. However, it can be done and I know the results are going to be amazing. Peace.