A truth about me: I have never been anyone's girlfriend. I have been in a situation that may have resembled a relationship, but at the end of the day, I've been perpetually single. This is not a lamenting blog, not in the least bit. Just setting up what I ultimately want to discuss.
Watching different friends experience different relationship issues has really made me think over these past few weeks. I've said it before and I'll say it again: Monogamy isn't natural, it's a learned behavior. Some us learn it, some of us don't. I feel as if I have mostly learned it, but I've never been tested on it. I think if I had to grade myself: 70% on understanding monogamy in theory and 40% on practice.
I've managed to stay out of relationships because 1. I'm a borderline commitment phobe and b. I don't know how monogamous I can be. There are a couple women that I believe I could shake 1 and b for, but I'm scared to try because (amongst other issues) I wouldn't ever want to hurt them. I'm not saying that I would be out ho-hopping. I just enjoying flirting, kee-keeing, and maybe the option of ho-hopping.
This ain't a braggin' blog. The thought of not being able to be with one person doesn't set well with me. It's gonna come a time where the tomcatting gets old and the other side of the bed gets cold. What will happen to me then? I'm still young (in the grand scheme of things), but I'm almost old in the "lesbian world". If I haven't learned how to be in a relationship by now, will I ever? Peace.