Monday, May 23, 2011

Welcome to the Cyberpool....No Lifeguard on Duty

Over the past couple months, I have dabbled in online dating. I've never been one of those who thinks dating sites are for losers. To me, a dating site is just another way to meet people. No different than meeting a chick at the mall. Just like a person you meet on the street, it can go pretty good or awfully terrible. Here is some things I've learned over these last 60 days.

Deciphering online phrases:
"outgoing" - I talk way too much.
"down to earth" - I've been told I'm stuck up.
"smart" - I have read a book that didn't have pictures in the past year.
"adventurous" - I saw a skydiving video online.
"I don't like arrogant women". - I'm arrogant as heck.
"I only put up a profile because my friend/aunt/probation officer/etc suggested" - I don't want to feel like a complete loser.
"I am a free spirit" - I'm a slore.

I'm amazed at how many chicks there are who are studying to become Aerospace Engineers, volunteer 20 hours a week at the homeless shelter whilst juggling their modeling career and working full time as a party promoter. It's rare to come across a profile of a woman who has a degree and a career. Perhaps these kind of women don't do online dating. *shrug*

Deciphering career titles:
"Self-employed" - I ain't got no job!
"Promoter" - I pass out flyers.
"Pediatrics" - I work at a daycare.
"Gainfully employed" - I have a job that's pretty crappy but it pays.
"Ninja/Warrior/Genius/Quasi-funny title" - I ain't got no job and I like anime!
"Dancer/Entertainer" - I'm a stripper.

The worst part of online dating is getting messages from undesirables. I try to be nice and let them down easily, but I can't help but to wonder "what the heck were you thinking?". If my profile says that I'm 29, no children, educated, non-smoker with a car why would I want to go out with a 38 year old with 4 kids, studying at Concorde, chain smoker with no vehicle? You would think common sense would tell them not to message me. Shoot for the moon I guess.

The runner up has to be chicks who want to exchange 123783 messages. If by message 5, you're not trying to give up the digits, twitters, skype, or something, count me out. I'm not here to make pen pals. There are websites for that. If you're that scared to give out your #, hop on Google Voice. I have noticed that a lot of chicks are just on there for the attention and ego boost. They have no desire to meet up with anybody, they just want to feel like "they still got it".

Now I've talked a lot of noise, but all in all, I've had some great experiences ( I emphasize experience ) with women I've met online. My profile has gone pretty dormant lately; however, when I get the urge to see what's good, I'll fire it back up again. Online dating doesn't have the stigma that it used it, so if you're looking for way to supplement your dating pool......give it a go. You might just like it. Peace.

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