Monday, February 6, 2017

When You Love Someone, You Just Don't Treat Them Bad....

I know at first glance at the title, you may think it's the line from Donell Jones' classic "Where I Want to Be". You may also think that this blog is going to be about me trying to hook up with someone else. As salacious and scandalous as this may sound, this blog ain't that.

My journey as a black lesbian has not always been an easy one. Even though I am more masculine presenting, coming out to family and the aftermath has been tedious still. The biggest offender has been my eldest sister. Incidentally, she is the sibling that I am closest to. After our mother died, she has really stepped in and filled some of the void I felt.

Background on my sister: she is 8 years older than me (early 40s), married, has a kid, uber religious, and quite conservative. My sister has been an adult since we were kids. I don't ever recall her letting her hair down and having a good time. She's always been super serious. My parents would leave her in charge and she'd actually tell them if we acted up. Like bruh...this supposed to be fun time. Anywho, she is a true and through holy roller. Always has been.

When I came out to my other siblings, it was like "meh, okay". I've had some missteps with my other sister, but that's more of her being an ass than anything else. She's the type to try to hurt you with words because she can't win an argument. My bro is indifferent about life in general really has nothing to say one way or the other. He told me to be happy and that was that.

Let's get to the get down with this blog. My oldest sis recently had a birthday. Her husband texted me an invite to come to their house for birthday cake. Apparently they didn't coordinate the invite, so my sis called with a similar invite. I tell my sis that sure, the girlfriend and I will come thru. because we may go bowling or something beforehand Radio silence. "Umm umm if yall were gonna go on a date, don't worry about. His (my bro-in-law's) parents will be there. You know how they are. I don't want them to say anything offensive to yall. Plus the kids....*voice trails off*. Just don't worry. Come over another time"

I am on the other end completely flabbergasted. I know she is still trying but I felt like we had made some progress. "Okay, if that's what you want. I'll chill" is all I can stammer fighting tears. I'll never give anyone the satisfaction of knowing they made me cry. After I hung up the phone, I just let loose. Anyone who knows me knows that it takes a lot to make my cry. If I cry, I'm for real hurt. I couldn't believe my sister didn't stand up for me. I was hurt that a person I care about just threw me under a whole bus.

How can you say you love someone but don't love everything about them? If your love for me is dependent upon me hiding or denying myself. You can keep your love if your love is not extended to someone I am in a relationship with. You don't love me, it just sounds good to say. It baffles me so much that people allow ignorance, bias, a book, whatever treat a loved whole so badly. Why would  you try to connect a perversion such as pedophilia to two adult women in a loving relationship? How do you fix that same mouth to say you love 100%? So if that's your idea of love...don't love me. Keep it,

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