We all judge. Every single last one of us. The Bible tells us not to judge, yet we do it at least 10 times a day. We look at the young black dude running and think "I hope he ain't running from a crime". We see the lady at the store with 2 kids and think "I wonder if the dad is around". Just like that, we have judged.
Last night, I was talking with a homie of mine. Somehow, the subject got on me and my lack of dating. I told her that most women see me and judge me on the spot. They see the camo shorts and fitted then think to themselves "she wanna be a thug" or "she probably work at a warehouse or in security". No diss to warehouse workers or security guards. They watch me walk by and think "she doesn't know a dinner fork from a salad fork" or "she probably wants a woman to wait on her hand and foot".
Just like that, I am thrown from the dating pool before I even open my mouth. The instant judging is one of the main reasons why I don't do "cold hollas". I feel that I do much better with women I have established some kind of rapport with. I cannot count the number of times a woman has conversed with me and said "I never thought you were like this". Of course the first few times I had to ask what that meant. I've gotten a wide range of answers from "I figured you were one of those typical wanna be thug/playas who had bad credit and lived with your mama" to "I figured you don't read books without pictures".
It's cold, but for a lot of folk perception is reality. I'd be a fool to think that folk will ever stop judging. However, for those of us who are in the dating world, we should definitely dig a little deeper before casting people aside. You just never know what is under that fitted and underneath that t-shirt. Peace.
