Last week, I signed up for an online dating site. If I can use the interwebs to find out whether my fave athlete's dump sank or floated, why can't I use it to meet chicks? I've heard horror stories about online dating and I've seen success stories from online dating. I thought to myself "self, you've had horror stories with chicks you met IRL, give this thing a real shot".
Previously, my close mindedness would have set in and I would have said fahgeddabouit. Not this time, I signed up, created a profile, and begin to navigate the site. I browsed through the profiles and made notes of who I may want to contact later.
A couple days later I get notification that I have some messages. First message: "wuts gud ma".....#smacksforhead. Immediately I regret this decision to try online dating. Click to the next message...oh a real message with something to say. It wasn't a long message, but it got the point across. I go to her profile and what do I see by age? Twenty-two. Seven (soon to be six) years younger, wow. I know we're both adults, but I couldn't help but to think of how when I was a senior in college, she was like a sophomore in HS. Or even worse, when I was senior in HS, she was in elementary school.
I read her words, look at her pictures, then I head back to my inbox. She didn't come at me sideways and she's not a mudduck, I can at least respond and be cordial. After a few rounds of corresponding back and forth, I see that she's hella cool. Likes sports, drinks beer, and has a few jokes. I'm not very versed in online dating, but I figured I'd do how I'd do offline: if I feel like we vibing a bit, let's go ahead and meet up to see what's what. We agreed to link up that evening to catch a game and grab a brew.
Long story short, I had a good time. A few months ago, I probably would have offered her a lollipop and told her to scram. I'm getting better with this wall and tunnel vision. Not there yet, but I believe I'm heading in the right direction. Peace.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
If the Berlin Wall Can Come Down....
The born day has passed. The cake has been eaten. The songs have been sang (sung, English teachers help me out). The FB, twitters, etc messages have been read. Now, it's time to really settle into a new year. Time to decide on what I want to work on for the new year.
By no stretch of the imagination do I really think I'm old. I may joke about it, but I know the night is still young. However, I'm at that age that if I want to change something, I better get to crackin'. The longer you wait, the harder it is to break a habit, way of thinking, etc.
Some people build walls from bad experience after bad relationship after bad experience after bad relationship. Those type of walls are built over years, maybe even decades. Nah, not me. My wall was on the express track. Losing the most important woman in my life and the woman I thought was important at that time almost simultaneously motivated me to work double in constructing my wall.
How could they let me get so close to them then leave me? Mommy, you shoulda stayed. I needed you. C, you coulda stayed. I wanted you. That's what I thought back then. I took all that hurt and "abandonment", channeled it, and worked on a wall like gangbusters. "I won't fall for the banana in the tailpipe again. If you wanna get close to me, good luck.".
Time passed and I got real cool behind the wall. Built a little pool, caught a couple rays, worked on my golf swing. It was like Club Fed. Sometimes for kicks and giggles, I'd climb to the top of the wall and watch a chick try to find a way over/around my wall. "Silly girl. You should just be happy with how far I let you go." Some tried for a long time before they gave up. Some gave it one good try and called it a day. Some tried to break down the wall. Some tried to coax me to come from behind the wall.
My wall and I have had some good times, but it's time to take it down. My homie asked me the other week, outside of my family, do I want someone to take care of me? Naturally, I said yeah, I got homies, I would want someone to look after me whilst I was on the mend. My homie is like nah, what if you broke you leg or got a life threatening illness (holy opposite signs of the spectrum Batman!), who would take care of you? That really stuck with me.
I'm sure the wall won't come down as quickly as I put it up. However, I am ready to start taking bricks down. I'll stick to it. I just hope by July, I'm not complaining saying "I coulda used this energy to build a slide for my pool". Peace.
By no stretch of the imagination do I really think I'm old. I may joke about it, but I know the night is still young. However, I'm at that age that if I want to change something, I better get to crackin'. The longer you wait, the harder it is to break a habit, way of thinking, etc.
Some people build walls from bad experience after bad relationship after bad experience after bad relationship. Those type of walls are built over years, maybe even decades. Nah, not me. My wall was on the express track. Losing the most important woman in my life and the woman I thought was important at that time almost simultaneously motivated me to work double in constructing my wall.
How could they let me get so close to them then leave me? Mommy, you shoulda stayed. I needed you. C, you coulda stayed. I wanted you. That's what I thought back then. I took all that hurt and "abandonment", channeled it, and worked on a wall like gangbusters. "I won't fall for the banana in the tailpipe again. If you wanna get close to me, good luck.".
Time passed and I got real cool behind the wall. Built a little pool, caught a couple rays, worked on my golf swing. It was like Club Fed. Sometimes for kicks and giggles, I'd climb to the top of the wall and watch a chick try to find a way over/around my wall. "Silly girl. You should just be happy with how far I let you go." Some tried for a long time before they gave up. Some gave it one good try and called it a day. Some tried to break down the wall. Some tried to coax me to come from behind the wall.
My wall and I have had some good times, but it's time to take it down. My homie asked me the other week, outside of my family, do I want someone to take care of me? Naturally, I said yeah, I got homies, I would want someone to look after me whilst I was on the mend. My homie is like nah, what if you broke you leg or got a life threatening illness (holy opposite signs of the spectrum Batman!), who would take care of you? That really stuck with me.
I'm sure the wall won't come down as quickly as I put it up. However, I am ready to start taking bricks down. I'll stick to it. I just hope by July, I'm not complaining saying "I coulda used this energy to build a slide for my pool". Peace.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
29 Thought Salute Part Deux
As promised, I am finishing up the last 15 lessons/thoughts/wise words. Before I get started, I just wanna thank God for another year. Some folk don't ever get to see 29, so just for that alone, I'm grateful.
15. Unless the service was just completely and utterly awful, always leave a tip.
16. Even if it's just up the road, go out of town at least once a year.
17. If all your friends don't like your mate, you may wanna reconsider that relationship.
18. Don't ever start something in the beginning of a relationship that you can't keep up with.
19. Never be afraid of being alone. If your friends don't wanna catch a movie, go out to eat, etc, go by yourself. If you're good company, you'll have a blast. #tapsforehead
20. Don't be afraid to do something out of "character". People will pigeonhole you with the quickness. Show them that you aren't what they expect you to be sometimes.
21. Always see the big picture. That means you should always be thinking 3 steps and one lookback ahead of the rest.
22. Be a great listener. The biggest key to being a great listener is listening to what folk DON'T say.
23. There is no such thing as leagues. The prettiest women are usually the least hit on because almost everyone thinks she wouldn't be into them.
24. If someone asks you for money, ask them is it a gift or a loan. If it's a gift, give and KIM. If it's a loan, hound them til they pay you back a la a bill collector.
25. Ain't a thing wrong with going to therapy. If you can't handle life at the moment, go get some help.
26. Two people that complain about gold diggers: those who can't get anyone to spend money like that and those who can't afford them.
27. There is nothing wrong with financing a purchase if you get a great no interest rate. Credit is not a bad thing, people who overextend and/or can't manage it is.
28. Arrogance based in confidence is cool. Arrogance based in insecurity is not.
29. No country for taking plays off. Go hard or go home!
There you have it folks, 29 things I've picked up in 29 years of living. Pass it on, live by them, send me a check. Peace!
15. Unless the service was just completely and utterly awful, always leave a tip.
16. Even if it's just up the road, go out of town at least once a year.
17. If all your friends don't like your mate, you may wanna reconsider that relationship.
18. Don't ever start something in the beginning of a relationship that you can't keep up with.
19. Never be afraid of being alone. If your friends don't wanna catch a movie, go out to eat, etc, go by yourself. If you're good company, you'll have a blast. #tapsforehead
20. Don't be afraid to do something out of "character". People will pigeonhole you with the quickness. Show them that you aren't what they expect you to be sometimes.
21. Always see the big picture. That means you should always be thinking 3 steps and one lookback ahead of the rest.
22. Be a great listener. The biggest key to being a great listener is listening to what folk DON'T say.
23. There is no such thing as leagues. The prettiest women are usually the least hit on because almost everyone thinks she wouldn't be into them.
24. If someone asks you for money, ask them is it a gift or a loan. If it's a gift, give and KIM. If it's a loan, hound them til they pay you back a la a bill collector.
25. Ain't a thing wrong with going to therapy. If you can't handle life at the moment, go get some help.
26. Two people that complain about gold diggers: those who can't get anyone to spend money like that and those who can't afford them.
27. There is nothing wrong with financing a purchase if you get a great no interest rate. Credit is not a bad thing, people who overextend and/or can't manage it is.
28. Arrogance based in confidence is cool. Arrogance based in insecurity is not.
29. No country for taking plays off. Go hard or go home!
There you have it folks, 29 things I've picked up in 29 years of living. Pass it on, live by them, send me a check. Peace!
Friday, February 25, 2011
Solid Gold: LI's Greatest Hits (Or Misses)
I'm hella appreciative to all ya'll out there who peep out my blog. In the beginning, traffic was light but I can tell now that more folk are checking out the blog. I get DMs, FB messages, etc telling me how someone enjoyed a blog posting. I figured today would be a good day to drop what I like to think of as my greatest hits.
1. Say Baby What's Your Sign - In this blog, I regale the world with tales of my bad experiences with certain astrological signs.
2. It Ain't Always Gumdrops and Cookie Dough - As hard as it is to believe, LI ain't all good.
3. Snakes On My Plane - Some kats just can't resist Awlladis.
4. It's Not Me....It's You - I go boho and drop a little poetry for ya'll. *lights incense* *snaps fingers*
5. There's Got to Be a Morning After - I channel my inner Biggie Smalls and tell ya'll a fairly personal story.
6. Wind Beneath My Wings - Are your friends really just your friends?
Blogging is hella therapeutic to me. I enjoy doing it even if no one read it. However, I love the love that I get. So to all my viewers, lurkers, commenters......thanks! Catch you on volume 2. Peace.
1. Say Baby What's Your Sign - In this blog, I regale the world with tales of my bad experiences with certain astrological signs.
2. It Ain't Always Gumdrops and Cookie Dough - As hard as it is to believe, LI ain't all good.
3. Snakes On My Plane - Some kats just can't resist Awlladis.
4. It's Not Me....It's You - I go boho and drop a little poetry for ya'll. *lights incense* *snaps fingers*
5. There's Got to Be a Morning After - I channel my inner Biggie Smalls and tell ya'll a fairly personal story.
6. Wind Beneath My Wings - Are your friends really just your friends?
Blogging is hella therapeutic to me. I enjoy doing it even if no one read it. However, I love the love that I get. So to all my viewers, lurkers, commenters......thanks! Catch you on volume 2. Peace.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
29 Thought Salute Part 1
As I rapidly approach another birthday (for which I'm extremely grateful), I think back on some lessons I've come across on the way to this point. This by no means a definitive list, just 29 for 29.
1. Trust in God, always. No matter how hard things may seem, it's much better to trust Him than to trust man.
2. Just because you had bad experiences at other churches, doesn't mean all churches are bad.
3. Tithe on your gross, not your net.
4. Everybody lies. If someone tells you they'll never lie to you, they're lying. We all will tell lies whether it be by omission or commission. We either omit the truth or commit to not telling the truth.
5. Never go anywhere broke. If you don't have the money, stay at home.
6. If you're diggin' someone, let them know. No matter how obvious you are with it, don't assume folk can read your mind.
7. A chick can hurt you in ways a dude could never dream about. Chicks know what buttons to push and how to push them for maximum damage.
8. Never fight for love. Either it ain't or it is.
9. When you finally get to have sex with someone you've wanting for a while, use ALL your tricks that night. You may not come up to bat again. Chicks will put you in the friend zone with the quickness, if you're headed there may as well go there with a BOOM!
10. Never believe someone who brags about how they put it down errtime. We've all turned in some bad to average performances.
11. Having your own place (no roommates) is one of the best things.....EVER!
12. Normal is not something to strive for. We're all a bit throwed whether it be by uniqueness or crazyness.
13. It's only corny if she's not feeling you.
14. Always give a side-eye to folk who harp on how straight they are as well as those who harp on how gay they are.
I'll unveil the last 15 on that glorious day of my birth. Peace.
1. Trust in God, always. No matter how hard things may seem, it's much better to trust Him than to trust man.
2. Just because you had bad experiences at other churches, doesn't mean all churches are bad.
3. Tithe on your gross, not your net.
4. Everybody lies. If someone tells you they'll never lie to you, they're lying. We all will tell lies whether it be by omission or commission. We either omit the truth or commit to not telling the truth.
5. Never go anywhere broke. If you don't have the money, stay at home.
6. If you're diggin' someone, let them know. No matter how obvious you are with it, don't assume folk can read your mind.
7. A chick can hurt you in ways a dude could never dream about. Chicks know what buttons to push and how to push them for maximum damage.
8. Never fight for love. Either it ain't or it is.
9. When you finally get to have sex with someone you've wanting for a while, use ALL your tricks that night. You may not come up to bat again. Chicks will put you in the friend zone with the quickness, if you're headed there may as well go there with a BOOM!
10. Never believe someone who brags about how they put it down errtime. We've all turned in some bad to average performances.
11. Having your own place (no roommates) is one of the best things.....EVER!
12. Normal is not something to strive for. We're all a bit throwed whether it be by uniqueness or crazyness.
13. It's only corny if she's not feeling you.
14. Always give a side-eye to folk who harp on how straight they are as well as those who harp on how gay they are.
I'll unveil the last 15 on that glorious day of my birth. Peace.
Monday, February 14, 2011
Who's In Charge of This Slipshod Operation?
I've always prided myself in being a thinker. Actually, I'd consider myself an overthinker. Maybe because I concern myself with the big picture. I rarely let my heart make any kind of decisions in my life. I used to. Now I don't. Maybe I don't trust my heart.
I felt like I let my heart take the lead once and it screwed me royally. I think my heart deserves another chance, but my brain has turned my body into a dictatorship. My brain won't even let my heart put a sheet of paper in the suggestion box. My brain runs a tight ship. No country for letting my heart get my body all wrapped up in emotions and throwing caution to the wind. My brain stays the course.
What is the course though? What if my brain is actually the coward? What if my brain is covering its fear with this huge bravado? Maybe brain and ego are in cahoots. Brain doesn't want to see ego get bruised. So is ego actually the one calling shots here? Wait a sec, lemme have a seat. So all this time, brain thought it was protecting me but in actuality ego is the muscle? Hmm, that changes everything.
Poor heart, even if it snuck past my brain, it would still fall victim to my ego. Peace.
I felt like I let my heart take the lead once and it screwed me royally. I think my heart deserves another chance, but my brain has turned my body into a dictatorship. My brain won't even let my heart put a sheet of paper in the suggestion box. My brain runs a tight ship. No country for letting my heart get my body all wrapped up in emotions and throwing caution to the wind. My brain stays the course.
What is the course though? What if my brain is actually the coward? What if my brain is covering its fear with this huge bravado? Maybe brain and ego are in cahoots. Brain doesn't want to see ego get bruised. So is ego actually the one calling shots here? Wait a sec, lemme have a seat. So all this time, brain thought it was protecting me but in actuality ego is the muscle? Hmm, that changes everything.
Poor heart, even if it snuck past my brain, it would still fall victim to my ego. Peace.
Friday, February 11, 2011
Freestyle Friday: Sign The Papers Edition
* Tomorrow, my hubby is moving out. He fought it and lost.....papers have been signed. I still got love for him cause he's my dude, but he wore me so low. I'm sure it's more of me and my inability to have folk in my space; however, incessant rambling and the like doesn't do it for me. I hope he gets out on his own, walks tall, and finds his truth. I wish him well.
* I really want this to be the last cold snap of the season. I don't do well with cold weather. Snow and ice are pretty to look at, but since Houston drivers struggle with dry pavement, I'd rather skip it. Don't get me started on the wind chill. I'm ready for spring.
* Less than a month to my birthday and for once I'm not in a funk about it. I'm looking forward to my birthday. I have no clue of what I'm gonna do for it, so that's a whole nother issue in itself.
* I don't have an official valentine, so I want to do something nice for all the special women folk in my life. Not sure what it may be yet, but it will be something to let them know how much they mean to me.
* I've told him frequently, but I'm very proud of my brother. He's made some steps in his life that really shows how much he has matured. I can only imagine the huge smile my mother has in Heaven looking down on her son. I love that kat so much, couldn't ask for a better big brother.
* The Knicks are playing some pretty awful ball as of late. I dunno if it's the trade rumors, but something is eating this team. I know they are better than this. I want D'Antoni fired though.
* Yesterday, I got news that this woman I knew (of) back home was shot and killed by her boyfriend. It kinda took me aback, immediately I put C in my prayer. I know no woman thinks this will happen to her, but it happens. It was weird because I hadn't thought about her in a while. All I will do is continue to pray for her.
* I really want this to be the last cold snap of the season. I don't do well with cold weather. Snow and ice are pretty to look at, but since Houston drivers struggle with dry pavement, I'd rather skip it. Don't get me started on the wind chill. I'm ready for spring.
* Less than a month to my birthday and for once I'm not in a funk about it. I'm looking forward to my birthday. I have no clue of what I'm gonna do for it, so that's a whole nother issue in itself.
* I don't have an official valentine, so I want to do something nice for all the special women folk in my life. Not sure what it may be yet, but it will be something to let them know how much they mean to me.
* I've told him frequently, but I'm very proud of my brother. He's made some steps in his life that really shows how much he has matured. I can only imagine the huge smile my mother has in Heaven looking down on her son. I love that kat so much, couldn't ask for a better big brother.
* The Knicks are playing some pretty awful ball as of late. I dunno if it's the trade rumors, but something is eating this team. I know they are better than this. I want D'Antoni fired though.
* Yesterday, I got news that this woman I knew (of) back home was shot and killed by her boyfriend. It kinda took me aback, immediately I put C in my prayer. I know no woman thinks this will happen to her, but it happens. It was weird because I hadn't thought about her in a while. All I will do is continue to pray for her.
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