Only Two Things Needed

The last week or so has been very trying and dare I say taxing. I have a multitude of safe places I go when I feel like the walls are caving in. Church happens to be one of them. Yesterday's message came from the book of John chapter 4. For those who don't read the Bible or memory is a bit rusty, this passage is about Jesus talking to the Samaritan woman at the well.

Jesus had sent his disciples into town to buy lunch. While he waited on them he asks a woman at the well for a drink. Now back in the day, Jews and Samaritans didn't have any dealings with one another. Naturally, the woman was shocked. Jesus goes on to tell her that if she knew who he was, she would have asked him for some living "water". Now the woman is intrigued and asks Jesus where can she get this water. Jesus tells her to go get her husband. She replies that she has no husband. Jesus tells her that she right. She has had 5 husbands and the one she has now isn't hers. There is more to this story, but its not relevant to this blog. The message at church was coming to God in spirit and in truth. The woman spoke to Jesus as herself and she was honest about having no husband.

Last night, I decided to try out this spirit and truth thing. I came to God just as I am and was 100% honest. I told Him about things and situations in my life that I felt so heartbroken and confused about. I cried out to Him telling him that even though I'm not perfect, I can say that I'm not who I used to be. I let Him know that in the midst of it all, I will continue to worship Him and follow Him. The next thing I know I was bawling like a newborn child. They weren't sad tears. They were tears of release........tears that I believe finally signify me letting go and letting God. I cried for a good 30 minutes then got in the bed. The minute my head hit the pillow the tears subsided and I felt a calm come over me.

So often in our lives, we view our problems at eye level. That's not what we're supposed to do. Since as Christians we are seated in Heavenly places, we must look at our conditions from that position. If you have been having a staring match with your problems.......time to get on the right level so you can see them from the right perspective and overcome them. Be blessed. Peace.

Open My Eyes and Close My Heart

One of the main reasons why I started this blog is to get my old blogs from Myspace (yeah I know). Well in my first installment of this move, I'm putting in a piece that I wrote a couple weeks ago. Enjoy.

Maybe I'm blind. Perhaps I don't want to see. I've spent so long trying to prove how good I am for you.....but shouldn't it be the other way around? Anytime you've called, I was there. When the world made you feel dumb, I made you feel like Einstein. When the world made you feel ugly, I made you feel like the belle of the ball. When the world left you emotionally broke, I gave you my last dime even if it meant me going hungry.

I have given you every fiber of my body. I have given you every inch of my soul. I have given to the depths of my heart. I try so hard to make you see me. You keep looking over me.....around me......under me. Am I saying I don't love you anymore? I'll always love you........but I gotta love me more.

If this world were mine.......you would be mine. It's not though, so I have to learn how to let you go. If I had my way........you'd be here beside me. It's not though.....so I have to stand tall on my own. Even if I had a magic wand, I wouldn't make you love me....I want you to want me because you want to.

I'll always be pulling for you to find true love. I know that you are turning down a sure thing to chase a dream. I just hope that years down the road when that bed seems even colder......the world seems a little harsher......and your heart seems a little emptier, you'll think of my warm body, my warm embrace, and my warm love.